Why Should I?
by Ardent Ly
Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart : James Potter. INDEFINITE HIATUS
1. Prologue

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

* * *

_THIRD YEAR - CHRISTMAS BALL_

The music was hypnotizing. Couples filled the dance floor for the last dance of the night. Fingers laced, noses almost touching, with sweet endearments being whispered in their partner's ear, the night truly did seem perfect for these young teens in love. The girls glimmered in their floating dress robes, hair all styled and twisted, features accented by touches (or so they liked to think) of rouge and charcoal. The gentlemen, on the other hand, were all dolled up in handsome robes, trying hard to look dashing and impressive.

There was, however, a peculiar twosome dancing. An overly plump girl - acceptable in looks, however not what society would call a beauty - in the muscular arms of a devilishly enticing boy. Her mousy hair flared with all shades of red and amber, while her eyes shone with a striking hue of green that rivaled the deep olive color of her robes. He, on the other hand, was beautiful. It seemed odd calling a boy in his third year beautiful or any boy really, but it did work nicely. With hair in jet black and pools of caramel as eyes, no wonder they found it amusing that he was with a girl quite his opposite.

Clumsily, she swayed to the beat of the music, trodding on the poor boy's toes every now and then.

"Oh, I'm sorry, James!" She said, looking up at him.

"It's fine, Lily. Just don't do it again." He replied through gritted teeth. Weight was once again put on his bruising feet, and he cringed. Lily mumbled another shy apology. A look of sheer aggravation overtook his face but he quickly removed it. He couldn't blow this...

"Um, James?" Lily's small voice called. He forced himself to look down, using his utmost hardest to imagine that the girl was _somewhat_ pretty. "Thank you for asking me to the ball. I've had a lovely time, really, I have. Thank you so much for giving me a chance." It was soft, almost so much so that he could barely hear. He would've much rathered if he didn't but, hell, who really cared? The ball was almost over, and so was this torture. He glanced to the corner, trying desperately to search for something. Spotting it quickly, a smile of relief graced his face.

"You're welcome, Lily. I've had a _lovely_ time, as well." James' face lowered and Lily found herself rapidly gaining the complexion of a ripe tomato. His breath tickled her lips, and she was not surprised when her breathing itself had hitched. Closer and closer he was now, fantasies crossing her mind. James Potter, the very boy she had fancied since first year, was about to kiss her! Her first _real_ kiss...

Her eyelids drooped and she puckered her lips. Any second now...

A loud gasp echoed through the grand hall, everyone turning their gazes towards the goop-covered Lily. She was on her knees now, all around her a pool of sickening slime. A look of hurt surprise was clear upon the side of her face that was not under the disgusting substance. She looked around, hoping to find one friend who would help her. Instead, they all laughed. Cruelly, they giggled and pointed, but no one as loud and heartily as James himself.

"J-James?" Her bottom lip quivered.

She looked on as another dashing lad took his place beside James and roared with laughter. "James, mate, you've done it! Where's that git, Diggory? I believe he owes us ten galleons!"

Slapping a rough hand against his best mate's back, James gave a mock pointed look. "Us? Sirius, _Sirius_, I believe that it was _I_ who managed to pull this prank! Therefore, the money is more than _mine_!"

"Ah, but, Jamesie," His eyebrows wriggled quirkily at the mention of his mate's nickname. "Who had convinced you to go along with it? If not for I, the great and powerful _Sirius Black_," He puffed his chest out as if he, himself, were the King of the World," none of this would've ever happened. Hence, the money is _ours_."

They continued to debate, a weary Remus Lupin standing behind them, shaking his head and crossing his arms. He looked past them and sent Lily an awfully sorry gaze, as if to say, "I'm sorry the blokes I happen to be great mates with did this to you".

Pushing past the increasing crowd, Remus strongly spoke out, "Enough." All the while, Lily took the chance to flee from the amused eyes of her fellow students. Two other girls, taking heed of Remus' earlier actions, wrestled their way among the elegantly dressed others and yelled for her.

"Oh dear, Lily!" One called out. They ran quickly, hoping to catch up with their embarrassed friend. However, one took a second or two to give the delighted James a vengeful glare.

"You truly are a heartless bastard, Potter." She whispered in a deathly tone.

"I love you, too, Lee!" He hooted as a response. The throng of scholars trailing him snickered.

With a flick of her hair, she radiated one final scowl and went off to find her friend. She struggled at first, bunching the fabric of her outfit in her fists, paling her knuckles.

"Give Meyers a kiss for me!" Sirius cried at her disappearing form. He then turned his direction to James, "That was brilliant, mate! She _actually_ bought it! And to believe they call her the cleverest witch of our year, ha! Ah, there's Diggory! Time to extract our pay," He ushered them all (careful not to slip on the foul-smelling slime) to the disgruntled Amos Diggory, who vigorously searched his robes for any extra change.

Remus stayed where he was, regardless of the others. He stared sorrowfully at his two best friends, then to the opened doors to the grand hall. The abashed face of Lily appeared in his head, and he dropped his eyes in shame.

_I'm so sorry, Lily.  
_

* * *

The next day had to be James Orvall Potter's best day in all his pranking years. The moment he stepped into the each of his classes, they stood and applauded. He gloated, of course, not stopping even when the professor of the subject had stepped into the room. He enjoyed it immensely, taking in every bat of a pretty girl's eyes, or the adoring praises from the fellows.

Sirius and Peter (who, for reasons that the other three could not prod out of him, did not show up at last night's ball) allowed their friend to shine in the light, although receiving a compliment or two every now and then.

By midday, James was positively elbow deep in ego. Nevertheless, his devoted clan of worshippers did not become the least bit sparse.

Now clearly frustrated, Remus slammed his goblet against the wooden table. "James, enough. It was funny, yes, but now you're taking it too far."

Startled, he responded lightly, "Moony, come on! That-"

"No, _you_ come on, James!" He did not use his nickname, which would have made the scene much less serious. "Did you even take a second to realize that Lily didn't appear in any of our classes?" At this, they all gazed about, his fan club and all, trying to spot even the slightest bit of the said girl's scarlet hair.

They did not see her. Nor would they see her for the next few years.


	2. Chapter One

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

* * *

**Chapter One – Seventh Year**

"Moony, old chap, how long has it been?" Sirius clapped a hand on poor Remus' back. He offered a toothy grin, all the while grabbing the handles of his trolley.

"Padfoot," He laughed, thinking it silly that they still used their childhood names. "We only saw each other no more than two days ago!" Shaking slightly with glee, they conversed animatedly while walking. Ordinarily, it would have been small talk; the next few international Quidditch matches, new jinxes in which to amuse themselves, sometimes even the weather! However, it was their last year, and no time at all would be spared! They walked onto the train, walking towards the near end of it.

"Where's Prongs? Surely he didn't get stuck in the loo, again!" They roared with laughter at the fifth year memory. James, showing the world exactly how much of a sodding imbecile he was, nearly missed the train on the count of "the lock in the stall wouldn't budge!" Of course, it was complete and utter bullocks, but they didn't push the topic further.

"I heard that."

Turning, they encountered their said friend, as well as Peter. "For your information, chaps, I was off retrieving my bags." In mock snobbery, he stuck his nose up in the air and walked off towards the direction of their usual compartment. "Come along, Wormtail. Let's leave these two fools with their witty jokes."

Saluting in the utmost adoring way, Peter followed a sniggering Remus and Sirius trailing right behind them.

They continued to babble and joke, speaking as if they were brothers who were separated for years. They were on the edge of a heated conversation about the velocity and cut of the latest broom on the shelves (Cosmoshooter Three-Fifty) when a timid lad - probably in his first year, maybe second - tapped on the sliding door of their booth. "Professor McGonagall would like to see Remus Lupin in the Heads' Compartment."

With a shrug and slight grin, Remus slipped away.

"Good old, Moony. I knew it was a strange coincidence when he didn't make Prefect." Peter shoved another handful of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans in his greedy mouth just as James made the obvious comment. "Any ideas who the Head Girl is?"

Pondering on the question, Sirius devoured a whole Pumpkin Pasty in a single bite. Very muffled, he said, "I would gladly wager it's Bones. The girl is brilliant in Charms. And I've seen her in a Wizard's Dual, as well. Not exactly top notch, but good enough to outdo that toe rag, Smith."

"Really? That's a surprise!" Peter piped up, rather squeakily, bits and pieces of sweets spraying everywhere. "Most girls want to shag him silly, not hex him!"

"Funny, isn't it?"

"What is, James? The fact that Smith is getting his arse kicked by a girl, or the fact that he can dual?"

He flashed them a heart-melting grin. "I believe you've mistaken us for your usual admirers, Prongs!" Sirius joked after a feigned swoon.

Ignoring his mate's comment, he continued, "Although the first is a rather refreshing break from his endearing speeches about himself, I must say it is the latter. Smith can barely spell out his own name; it was very shocking to find he could protect himself in second year."

"Quite right, Jamesie!" They all laughed, and proceeded to eat to their hearts' content.

* * *

Noisily, students of all years started to assemble into the Great Hall, rushing to their appointed tables. The professors lined the outstretched table, chattering among themselves, as well. Professor Dumbledore gazed upon the sea of young witches and wizards, light azure eyes shining behind half moon specs. The ceiling was enchanted to appear like the night sky, an endless blanket of ink dotted with its occasional star.

"Looking great as ever, Callie," Sirius winked as a pretty girl with auburn locks, clad in the usual Hogwarts uniform, passed by.

She shot him a dark look and spat, "It's _Meyers_, to you, _Black_." Callie slid next to another girl, slim in the waist, with a head full of sleek, platinum blond hair. They began chatting almost immediately, faces going from one expression to another.

Remus appeared next to him, a light brow raised. "Still the little sniper, huh?" they all looked up at the sound of his voice.

"Moony!"

"I daresay, Padfoot, you're still quite smitten with her." He teased. The distressed grimace plastid on his handsome face gave him no reason to push for an answer.

"She acts as if I've skinned her cat and fed the carcass to the Giants!" He pouted. "Go on, greet her. She'll find some vile name to call you, or maybe even point her little wand at you." He rubbed his upper arm, recalling.

Doing so, Remus called out. "Hullo, Callie! How was your summer? I trust you are well?" He was rewarded with a pleasant smile and a quick "Hullo to you as well, Remus!" as well as wave from her friend. "Good evening, Ivee. How are you?" Impressively, he had managed to charm two girls, all in the short time of thirty seconds.

"Well, that wasn't so hard, was it, chaps?" He remarked, squeezing himself between a bewildered Sirius and an overawed James. They, however, had no chance to applaud their newly appointed Head Boy, as the respected Headmaster stood from his seat.

Giving the hall a moment to silence, which it did in a matter of seconds, he cleared his throat. "Welcome back to a great new year at Hogwarts! I am delighted to see..." The Marauders, even the dignified Remus, had toned out. It was pretty the same old thing each year. They mouthed along the warnings sent by Filch. Of course, it was directed towards them, the scrawny caretaker always hiding behind the mental old man, or, in recent cases, behind his newest little pet, Mrs. Norris.

The tattered old Sorting Hat spoke wisely, dramatically pressuring the need for _House Unity _and acceptance of all bloods (the arrogant Slytherines smirking all through it) upon the students. The sorting was as dull as ever, much to their distaste, the Head Boy being the only one of the four who had managed to stay awake from "Aera, Victoria" through "Kopansky, Louisa".

Dumbledore stood once more, clapping his hands for attention. "Now, my eager ones, before we get on with our scrumptious supper (Sirius moaned loudly, only to be silenced by Remus), there is one more rather exciting announcement I would like to make.

"This year, a very special student has given us the pleasure of returning back to our dear Hogwarts. She left four years ago, hoping to broaden her horizons. Now, please everyone, let us give a warm hand-" The large oak doors burst open, a black gossamer motorbike leaving those at the ends of the tables coughing. The rider, also in an array of black clothing, skidded to a stop just inches away from the professors' table. Stepping right beside Dumbledore, she took off her helmet and shook out her hair. "-to Miss Lillian Noelle Evans."

No one applauded. Instead, all the young fellows gazed up at her, blushing at her curvaceous leather suit. The older ones, however, regarded no such humilities and whistled arousingly. The redheaded beauty smiled elegantly as she shook Dumbledore's hand. "Thank you, Professor."

James and Sirius jolted from their seats eyes disbelieving. "Oh, Merlin!" They exclaimed. Even Sirius' growling gut had been forgotten. All that matter was the gorgeous girl before the entire school. Simultaneously, their eyes trailed her figure up to her face. She was not looking at them, but at the seated Remus, who in turn, stared back shamelessly.

"Quite right you are, Mr. Potter and Mr. Black. Miss Evans here, for the last few years, has been attending _Merlin's Institute for Gifted Witches and Warlocks_. If I may say so lightly, she was quite a success." Dumbledore explained. "At this, I would like to congratulate Miss. Evans for the spot of Head Girl!"

They cheered this time, wishing that a simple compliment would win her gaze. They were not so lucky, but nonetheless, Lily had removed her heavy jacket to reveal her crisp Hogwarts jumper, which was a reward in itself as it reveal the soft curve of her breasts and pale column of a neck. "Now, my dear, what House do you wish to honor? The Sorting Hat has left for its well-deserved rest, so I entrust in you the decision."

With no hesitation, Lily quickly replied, "If you please, Professor, with your approval, I would like to continue to stay with my original House, Gryffindor." She giggled sweetly at their reactions, some even going so far as to climb onto the table and flaunting their newest arrival. She stepped down, vanishing her bike to Merlin knows where, and walked towards Gryffindor table, engulfing two girls in an embrace.

"Callie! Ivee! Oh, I've missed you so!" She greeted, tears springing from her eyes. "How's it been?" After a while, she shrieked at the sight of their old Remus. Latching her entire self on him (receiving jealous looks from the other lads), she warned him seriously of her excessive time in the shower after spotting the proud badge on his chest. He laughed in reply, threatening her with a joyful little charm that would send the shower curtain whipping at her every morning.

As James looked on at their pretty little conversation, he couldn't help but feel jealous at the boy he called friend.

* * *

Thank you to all who have reviewed and read my story! I must admit, I never thought I would receive such positive feedback. Thank you again, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
C.T.


	3. Chapter Two

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Lily sighed in pure annoyance. Between the heavy set books, she could feel the intense gazes of admirers boring a hole in the back of her head. Dipping her quill in her inkwell, she expertly guided the tip across the fresh roll of parchment, already scribbled with numerous little footnotes. Another sigh emitted from behind the bookcase.

Honestly, what was the use of all of this? She planned on spending the day before classes the professors graciously gave the students in hopes of doing a bit of light reading and note-taking. The day, however, was definitely not going her way with all the red-blooded interruptions she kept getting. She buried her nose even deeper into the Runes book she had been reading, a lock of scarlet hair blocking her gaze.

Brushing it away, she caught of the stare of soft, brown eyes outlined with rounded, wire glasses. _Potter_. A growl rose at her throat and she slammed her book shut, receiving a hurtful yelp from within the textbook itself. Hastily grabbing her bag and the loose notes, she glided out the doors, a trail of lads hot on her trail. James, however, was not among them.

He had seen the way her face became distorted with disgust as she spotted him. Her eyes burned with the same intensity as her hair, which could've caught the gaze of any man. He leaned on the shelf, up to the edge with novels and volumes, one or two making an unusual sound at his sudden weight. He couldn't approach her, seeing as she always found a way to slip away just as he had managed to be within range. As she did so, her scent lingered, still, in the air, and he forgot all thoughts. He would stand there, no more than two minutes, and then the smell would disappear. She was long gone by then, and he ruffled his hair exasperatedly.

He sniffed and was calmed with her scent again. It was familiar, his senses never disturbed by the uniqueness of it all. Combing a rough hand through his hair, a rather addicting habit he'd developed at the young age of ten, he shoved the other in his trouser pocket and strolled out of the library. He had a paper to write for Slughorn on the properties of _Nightshade_ and _Wolfbane_, along with a fourteen-foot essay on the differences between _Alomancy_, _Astragalomancy_, and _Alectromancy_ for Divination. He grumbled angrily. Who in the bloody blazes expected bloody students to do bloody homework over the bloody summer? He swore that the professors in this place where getting dimmer and dimmer each passing year.

But, he would have time to vent his anger on school troubles later. First thing's first; he had to talk to Remus.

* * *

"James, please, you don't have to shout." Remus said calmly, all the while commanding his knight to move to C4, blocking Peter's pawn. Running his rough hand through his hair, for what seemed like the millionth time _that_ day, he slumped into a seat next to his two mates. "Good. Now, do tell, what did you do this time?"

"That's just it, I don't know!" Peter gave him a skeptical look.

"It's not good to fib, Prongs. If you do, you better forget about writing your annual letter to Father Christmas," He joked.

Rolling his eyes, he replied, "Ha, ha, very funny, Wormtail. Absolutely hilarious. Downright amusing. Positively-"

"Alright, James, we get it. Now, what's wrong?" Remus interrupted patiently, however, rubbed the bridge of his nose. He muttered a quick command to his chess pieces, sending them all into a rampage.

"Wha? It's over? But I haven't even moved yet!"

"He's right, Gov'na! Don't tell me you've thrown in the towel! That flimsy little queen is just two moves away!"

All at once, the white pieces started shouting at him, begging to continue the game. James snickered as Peter's dark pieces began hollering as well. "You blumbering idiots can't even control little chessmen." Pulling his own wand out, he tapped the board sharply. "Silencio!" Thankfully, they were all rewarded with mute glares.

"I promise we'll all have a go later with Sirius," Remus reassured them as he picked them up one by one. "I know you all enjoy crushing his pieces."

Immobilized in cushions of soft velvet, the chessmen calmed and were put away. "So, what happened, Prongs? How much trouble are you in this time?"

"I told you, I don't know!" He started pacing around the room. "I mean, I swear I've never done anything to this girl!"

"Oh, so it's a girl problem, is it?" Peter tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "Sounds like another Sirius and Callie relationship, doesn't it?" Suddenly, the portrait swung open, the said boy rushing in quickly, and with a bang, shut it. Thumps and screams could faintly be heard from the other side. If they didn't know any better, they would've figured that a panther was set loose in the halls of Hogwarts.

James, Remus, and Peter all stood now. "Hell, Padfoot, who's goblet did you mess with this time?" Sirius' hair was mussed, something rarely (even after a quick trip in the broom closet with some love-struck girl) and the side of his jumper slashed somewhat. Though breathing heavily, he gave them a flattering smile.

"This, gentlemen," he pointed to his disarrayed body, "Is the look of the man who just got kissed by _the _Callie Meyers!" He grinned smugly at their open-mouthed reactions. He raised a hand to them, shutting their jaws as he grinned triumphantly. "It was my charm that lured her, I assure you." The noise emitting from outside spoke otherwise.

"Black, prepare for the biggest arse kicking of your life! I swear, when I'm done with you, you'll be akin to Nearly Headless Nick!" Callie's threatened murderously. At that moment, Sirius truly was grateful for walls.

"I thought you said she kissed you, Padfoot!"

"She did!" He adjusted his jumper. "I was following her, to the library 'cause I had overheard her talking to Ivee and that Lily girl yesterday about meeting up there to talk about some girly stuff and me. Okay, maybe not _me,_ per se, but probably someone that _looks_ like me-"

"Sirius!"

"Ahem, right, sorry. Anyways, I was following her when she whirled around to glare at me when our lips touched. I swear I didn't start it! If anything, she threw herself onto me!" His three mates rolled their eyes, all rumbling something that soundly strangely like, _"My arse!"_ under their breaths. "We stood there kissing for about three glorious seconds, when she started hitting me! Bloody hell, that girl has a wicked right hook!"

James was on the floor laughing by then. "Padfoot, you dog! Haha, tell me, did she destroy your jumper, as well?"

"Hell yeah! Her claw-like nails began digging into my shoulder! That's when I ran." A chill ran through his spine. "Terrifying, really. But totally worth it! She's a wild one, she is! I wonder how she is, ahem, _other_ activities…" He let his mind wonder for a moment, then suddenly, the proud smile on his face wavered. "What I don't get is why she hates me! I mean, if it were any other girl, she would've dragged me to the closest broom closet!"

"I know what you mean," James commented. "Merlin, women scare me! You shoot them a smile, and they bear their fangs."

Remus gave him startled gaze. "Who're you talking about, Prongs?"

"The new girl, Lily. I honestly, mates, I don't know what's going on with me. She's so unlike any of the other girls, you know? But what I don't get is why she's been avoiding me!"

"Well, Dumbledore did say she was _returning_ to Hogwarts. Maybe you dated her or something back then." Peter gave his two cents in.

He considered it for a second, but then shook his head. "No, I would've remembered someone like her. I mean, how many fiery redheads do you see these days?"

"Maybe she's just playing hard to get. You never know with women. You're just following them, admiring their beauty, next thing you know; they're ruining your favorite jumper!"

"You guys honestly don't remember?" They all turned towards Remus.

"Remember what, Moony?"

"Okay mates; think back around the middle of third year. Around Christmas, if you will." The three boys nodded, all in deep thought. "Now, tell me, what did you guys do?"

It was quiet for a few good minutes, and then they all began recalling.

"My mum sent me that delectable cake for my birthday." Peter said.

"Isn't your birthday in May?" Sirius asked, with his eyebrows bent into a furrow pointing to his nose.

Peter gazed down. "My mum's not very good with birthdays."

Frustrated, Remus rolled his eyes. "Something a bit more dramatic, if you please."

"I had won that wager with that wanker, Diggory!"

"Now I remember! An easy ten galleons, I must say! Just to..."

Then it dawned on them.

"Just to humiliate Icky Evans-"

"-Also known as _Lily_ Evans-" Remus added.

"-Who's best mates with Callie-?"

"-in front of the whole school..."

They stared at each other, mentally kicking themselves in the shins for their realization.

"Oh, bullocks!"

* * *

Hey, everyone! So sorry for the idiotic mistakes that I made in this chapter. I revised and edited it; however, if you do find any more mistakes, please feel free to tell me so. Thank you to all who have reviewed!  
C.T.


	4. Chapter Three

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

"About bloody time you gents figured it out," Remus muttered. He gazed at his two mates, who plopped themselves down on the crimson and gold trimmed armchairs. They each had a look of disbelief, their mouths slightly hanging ajar.

The three of them silenced, with Peter gazing around the room to amuse himself. He guffawed when he spotted a bright stain on the wall, a proud mark of their "homecoming" prank. James, Sirius, and Remus held a quizzical brow towards him, eyes confused. Peter coughed to cover up his shaking laughter, shuffled his feet, and sat down alongside them.

Finally, Sirius began to speak. "Why are they holding such a grudge against us? I mean, come on! We were idiotic little gits who were just having fun. What fourteen-year-old boy isn't like that?"

"Yeah," James raked his hand through his hair. "It was just a stupid prank. We didn't mean any harm."

"Well, Lily obviously didn't think so!"

"True, however-" Sirius stopped mid-sentence. "Wait, why isn't she mad at you, Remus?"

"Whatever do you mean?" He answered, sarcasm dripping elegantly from his words. He had been wondering when they would start to notice. His friend, however, didn't catch it.

"Oh, don't even go and pretend, mate! The girl practically glued herself onto the first night back! You guys aren't - what I mean is – you guys aren't shagging or anything are you?" James' eyes widened drastically and Remus had enough courtesy to blush.

"Sirius, you're mad. Completely and utterly mad." Though Remus' mouth was open, James had been the one to answer him. "This is _Remus_ we're talking about here. Of course he isn't _shagging_ Lily. Isn't that right, Remus?" In fear for their safety, his three mates started backing up, sensing the danger in his tone.

"R-right you are, Prongs." He replied, using his nickname in hopes to lighten the mood. The threesome laughed nervously, suddenly becoming quite interested in their black slacks. "Well, um, anyways, before I answer Padfoot's previous question, there are a few facts you need to know.

"One - a week before the ball, Lily had been offered a scholarship to _Merlin's Institute_. You know, the school Dumbledore mentioned during his opening speech. He had personally recommended her; of course, she hesitated, seeing as it is a big step for her, being invited to attend the world's most prestigious magical academy. Two – ever since first year, Lily's been absolutely smitten with James. She was positively _through the roof_ when you had invited her to the Christmas Ball." He looked pointedly at James.

"After you had initiated your heinous prank, she immediately took up the offer. By the next day, she was gone; away from Hogwarts, away from the students, and away from you, James."

The three of them soaked up the newly found information, still disbelieving what they were being told. "Moony, how do you know all of this?"

"Well, later on that night, I caught up with Callie and Ivee. They told me of her plans, and I knew that we had something to do with it. Before she left, I apologized, for all our sakes'. At first, considering that my best mates had just humiliated her, she didn't trust me. But for a while now, or I guess years is much more appropriate, we've been owling each other. Over a period of three and a half years, she's learned to trust me. However, I could do nothing about her newly sparked hatred for James."

"That explains why she's so chummy with you!" Peter exclaimed.

Remus nodded. Turning to James, the expression behind his clear blue eyes changed. "I'm sorry, mate. I tried. Really, I did."

Without gazing up at him, James answered, "So you apologized and she forgave you? Just like that?" He snapped his fingers. Surprised by his words, Remus nodded a negative.

"It took me ages to get her to open up to me. But, mate, you have to remember; sometimes an apology doesn't always help. As much as I hate to discourage you, she's been fanning a hatred for you since that night in Third Year. I think you're going to have to show her that you've truly grown up and that you're not the selfish little brat you were back then." He laughed lightly at the end, loosening James' tight face.

"Well then, I better get busy! Time to show Evans what she's missing!" Flashing them a charmingly boyish grin, he ran off towards his dorm. Remus, Sirius, and Peter watched him dash off wordlessly.

"He...took that incredibly well." Peter said after a while. "I'd hate to know what exactly he's up to." With that said, they rushed off after him.

* * *

There was a light sigh. Accompanied by another. And another.

"I'm bored," Ivee yawned, stretching herself like a cat. They all sat idly in the Heads' common room, none looking more uninterested than the other.

Reading the same passage for the umpteenth time, Lily responded, "There's nothing to do. Bloody hell, if I knew how dull Hogwarts would be, I never would've came back." She shrieked playfully when two cushions levitated from the loveseat across from her and whacked her forcefully on the head. She swung her novel against one of them, hoping it was set them off. "Callie! I was only joking, for Merlin's sake!"

Lifting her head from her arms, Callie looked not the least bit sheepish. "Don't make stupid jokes, Lils. It was hard enough seeing our best friend get totaled by that insufferable git; but seeing you move away, as well? We couldn't stand it."

"Have you any idea how much harder we had to work without you here?" Ivee lifted her nose from her scrap of parchment long enough to joke.

Dropping her gaze to the floor, Lily mumbled, "I'm sorry. I just thought that maybe it was the best thing to do. But now, I'm tired of running." Then as an after thought, she said, "Oh, have I mentioned? I was at the library earlier this morning and found that bloody Potter watching me through the book shelves."

"Potter? What's that prick up to this time?" Callie scrunched her nose in disgust. She stood herself up and walked towards the large open window. She leaned forward, breathing in the fresh air. "We better keep on our toes, ladies. There's no telling what that monster has up his sleeve this year."

Ivee laughed. "Oh, I'm sure he's up to something, but it's definitely not what we think." She went back to her writing, muttering an occasional word or phrase.

"What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes, but it didn't leave her work. "Please, Lils, have you gone blind? Trails of boys have been following you around from the moment you zoomed in here with your motorbike! Much like the rest of the other boys, Potter's starting to like you, Lils. Even you cannot deny that." She ended her endearing speech with a smirk.

The room was hushed for no more than a moment when Lily broke into a fit of insane laughter. "Ivee, love, you've gone mad. Utterly mad. How could you even suggest such a thing? Potter? Fancy me? Oh, the Gods might as well strike me with lighten-" she was, however, interrupted by Callie's call.

"Lils, you better come over here." Her tone was incredulous. Curious, both Ivee and Lily walked over to where Callie was, and what they saw amazed (and amused) them immensely – or at least in Ivee and Callie's case. There James Potter was, broom and all, singing a _Morgana Lovett_'s original. Or, at least, attempting to sing. At the moment, she found it very tempting to chuck her book at his over-sized head.

"Leave, Potter! You have no business here!" Lily reached out to close the window, but froze when she felt his hand on hers.

"No, please, Lily, just listen to me!" Behind her, Ivee snickered and Callie rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry! I was an arrogant little beast back then, but I promise you, I've changed!"

Giving him the coldest look she could muster, she shut the window closed, almost catching his hand in the process. Breathing in, she turned to face her friends.

"Girls, I think James Potter fancies me."

* * *

Hello, everyone! So sorry that this chapter took so long being posted! I hope you all enjoyed it and please feel free to give me any ridiculous suggestions that James could attempt in order to get Lily to forgive him. By the way, Morgana Lovett was made up. I'm not sure if any other writers here on have a character with an identical name, so if you do, I'm terribly sorry and I assure you that I didn't mean to copy you.

Thank you all for those had been supporting this story since chapter one, and for those who have been reading!  
Much love

C.T,


	5. Chapter Four

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

Please note that all paragraphs written in italics are flashbacks, and the flashback scenes are ordered from First, Second, and Third year. Thank you, and sorry for any inconvenience.

* * *

**Chapter Four **

Lily lay in bed, unable to sleep. She counted sheep (she always wondered why it was sheep, and not something more like rabbits or kittens), drank a mug of warm milk from the Heads' kitchenette (she fearfully had to peel off a thin, transparent skin from rim of the cup when she heated her drink), even tried singing to herself (regrettably, the Morgana Lovett song Potter sang). Still, her eyes were wide open, her mind fully alert. She glanced over quickly to the magical clock she had bought at Hogsmeade back in fifth year.

Two fifty-three a.m. it read, much too late for any student to be up and about. However, she held no regard to the time, or anything else, for that matter. In her mind's eyes, she played back memories continuously. They all haunted her. The happy ones, the sad one, it didn't matter.

She shut her eyes as two lone tears raced after one another down her cheeks.

* * *

_The train whistled nosily, making the butterflies in young Lily's stomach flutter wildly. The pudgy girl walked along the side of the train, admiring the build and vibrant paints of the steel. She pressed her hand against one of the many windows and felt it warm under her touch. Just as she imagined, it stood tall, glistening in the light. _

"_All aboard!" A well-built man called, and farewells kisses and teary goodbyes could be seen throughout the platform. Mothers licked handkerchiefs, rubbing the imaginary dirt off their sons' faces. Fathers carried their daughters on their shoulders, amazed at the passed years, warning them seriously about the threat of love-sick boys. _

_Lily smiled sadly. She looked up at her own mother and felt her lip quiver. The sight of her was depressing. Her elegant, once beautiful mother stood before her now pale and heavy. The bags under her eyes gave clue of sleepless nights, and as she walked towards her daughter, her step was as steady as a drunkard's. Illnesses could do quite a toll on a middle-aged woman. _

"_You be good now, Lily, dearest. You do mummy proud! Be sure to invite some of your new friends for Christmas, understand?" Despite her appearance, her mother smiled kindly. "I've packed you some snacks, just in case. Did you put some money in your pocket, like I've asked?" _

_Lily unconsciously stuck her hand in her jumper pocket and pulled out a pouch full of wizard money. "That's a dear. If you ever run out, you mail me or, rather, owl me." Lily just nodded, not trusting her voice. Her mother looked exceptionally tired now, and she couldn't help but feel guilty. Taking her out of the hospital was a mistake!_

_She hugged her mother fiercely as the man shouted again. "I love you, mum." She managed to choke out. Her mother cooed sweet, final words into her ear and she wiped away her tears with the back of her thick arms. "I love you, my special Lily." They both let go, and Lily followed the rest of the keen students onto the Hogwarts Express. _

_As the train setoff, Lily took once final look at her mother. She saw her in the crowd of other parents, waving her handkerchief. _

"_Be strong, mum." _

* * *

"_Excuse me, Professor McGonagall, but Professor Dumbledore has requested to see Miss Evans in his office." Minerva McGonagall looked at the seventh year boy from the top of her glasses and nodded. _

_Her lips thinned sternly and she spoke to Lily. "You are excused, Miss Evans. Please remember to read chapters fourteen to twenty-nine for next week. However, if you feel that you are not up to it or you have some other business to attend to… don't feel obligated to do it." Her last comment left the whole class wondering, but nonetheless, Lily gathered her belongings and left with the older boy. _

_They walked in silence, Lily knowing full well that this kind prefect, no matter how kind, would not like to be seen associating with someone like her. She stared at her feet as she trudged on, and wished she were still back in her class. They stopped in front of a large, disordered gargoyle, and never did Lily feel so small. _

"_Password?" She heard, but did not see it move its stone mouth. The prefect leading her muttered "ginger newts" and instantly, the monster began to move. Soon enough, a staircase was visible and Lily started climbing. He did not accompany her, however, and she was puzzled. _

"_Must be serious," she incoherently said to herself. _

"_Miss Evans, welcome." Dumbledore greeted, offering her a customary lemon drop. Declining politely, she asked the obvious question. She watched as Dumbledore stood from his seat and walked over to his beautiful phoenix. He stroked its head adoringly, then plucked an envelope from its beak. _

"_I have been given the unfortunate job of telling you, Miss Evans, that your mother had been sent to a muggle hospital. She is in critical condition, but I assure you that she is under the utmost care of one of our own healers. Undercover, you see." He peered at her, and felt instant pity. Her hands tangled themselves in the overly-long sleeves of her jumper and she bit down on her bottom lip; her nervous habit. "You will not be returning home for the summer holidays, I'm afraid." At this comment, she looked up. _

"_But, professor, where am I to go? I have no other family in England, nor in any other places near it." She retaliated, her eyes glossing over. "Please, could I not stay with my mother?" _

_He sighed slowly, and shook his head. "I fear that the Ministry will not allow it. You are still underage, and in need of an able-bodied guardian at all times. I'm sorry, my dear." _

_He took his seat once again, and on a lighter note, added, "Professor McGonagall has offered her home to you during the holidays. If you accept, please feel free to owl her, or to approach her during your lessons." _

_Lily nodded mutely and headed for the door. Her face showed no emotion, and she knew her voice would break if she opened her mouth. Her hand, however, paused just above the doorknob. "Thank you for everything, Professor," And with that, she departed. _

* * *

_A shy blush smoothed across Lily's face. Here she was, in a gorgeous green dress - which she had to admit was a good two, three sizes too big – dancing under and enchanted moonless night. Here she was, in the embrace of the boy whose mere name drove gooseflesh up her arms. Here she was, only inches away from kissing him, James Potter. _

_Closer and closer…_

A shiver ran up her spine as an unfamiliar feeling crept up on her. Her eyes that had closed instinctively flew wide open as the honey-colored slime was poured down on her. She looked at herself up and down, disbelieving. Who could've done this?

_Then, just to the left of her, James was, howling and crying of mirth. _

_Her breathing became heavy and her vision blurred. Laughter rung cruelly in her ears and, for what seemed like forever, her feet took root to the ground. They all pointed and whispered, "Stupid", "Fool", "Twit" she heard them say. She finally came to her senses and ran for all her being. _

_She heard the faint calls of Callie and Ivee, telling her to stop, but the humiliating words dug a deeper hole. Nearly tripping on the hem of her gown, she took hold of the wall for support. Her large body was shaking in tears, and the portraits around her gazed nosily at her. _

"_What's wrong, dear child?" One asked her. _

"_My, look at your dress, girl! You've absolute ruined it!" Another scolded. _

"_Girly, nottin' in life worth cryin' over, ya hear? No matr' what it be." A single eyed sailor told her. _

_Much like her best friends, they were ignored, and she ran off to the only place she knew where she could find solace. _

_She wiped her face with the back of her arm as the gargoyle came into view. _

"_G-Ginger newts." It did not budge. "Sug-gar Quills." Still it did not move. She groaned at her luck. Then, she darkly chuckled at her lack to think of the obvious. "Lemon Drops." Much to her pleasure, the gargoyle moved and she hurried up the stone stairs. _

_When she opened the unlock door of Dumbledore's office, she found him in his chair, hands folded. The expression on his face told her he was expecting her. _

"_P-Professor… is your offer still open?" _

"_Why, yes it is, Miss. Evans. But why such a quick change of mind?" _

"_I – I… can't say, sir." She looked ashamed. _

"_Well, then, I suggest you start packing. Unless, you have no plans to leave tonight," It was not a question, but a statement. _

"_No, please, sir. I would like to leave as soon as possible." _

_Dumbledore nodded knowingly and offered his sleeved arm to his phoenix. "I shall see to the arrangements." _

* * *

The last one struck her harder than the rest. Lily buried her face into her pillow, wishing the memories could leave her be. She rustled in her bed, and the sleek movements of her sheets seemed to comfort her. Her crying ceased, but nonetheless, she still felt miserable.

As her clock struck four, she found time and sleep catching up to her. Wearily, her eyes closed and she drifted quickly off to a well deserved sleep.

The boy in the corner went unnoticed, but his eyes flashed deep concern at the wet streaks that left themselves on Lily's slumbering face.

"Lily…"

* * *

Hey, everyone! I hope you managed to get a small peek at Lily's (make-believe) past. And I also hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks again for everyone's reviews and please feel free to criticize me in any way!  
All the best,

C.T.


	6. Chapter Five

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Lily Evans walked through the familiar halls of the magical school, showing no evidence of her lack of sleep from the night before. She was a vision, her hair perfectly combed and left down, her uniform clean and crisp. Her flats clicked softly against the waxed floors and the books under her arm were held proudly. This was the side of her most remembered, Lily: the model student.

She ran her hand along the seat of her school-issued skirt to keep from giving the males behind her a preview of her assets.

"Morning, Cal," she greeted as she smothered butter and strawberry jam on her toast.

"Hey, Lils!" Callie grinned cheerfully. Her friend couldn't help but roll her eyes mentally. Callie always was a morning person. "How was your first night back at jolly, ol' Hogwarts?"

At the question, Lily smiled as well. "Horrible!" she exaggerated dramatically. "The room was dreadfully chilly, my window creaks, the tap in the loo wouldn't stop dripping, and your dismal snoring kept me up till a good hour! Callie, love, I thought after four years you would've solved your snoring problem!" She laughed gleefully as Callie took a swipe at her head, her faced flushed.

"You're lucky you're my best mate, Evans, or I'd have thrown you a good hook or two! Besides, our dorms are no where near each other!" She ended with a quick and wet raspberry towards Lily.

"Oh, you know you _adore_ me too much to do such a thing. And speaking about best friends, where's our beloved Ivee? Slept in?"

Her mouth full of vegetarian-safe omelet, Callie simply nodded. She swallowed and added, "She looked absolutely exhausted when I went to wake her. Judging by the quill and parchment scattered all about her bed and floor, she stayed up all night writing, again."

"Still the harlequin romantic, is she? Well, no surprise there." Lily remarked, helping herself to another slice of toast. "Girl has a gift; a fantastic one at that! I can still remember that story she wrote back in second year. Goodness, it was amazing."

"Why, thank you, dearies. Keep at it and I might just add you as a character in one of my stories." The two girls turned to find Ivee beaming tiredly at them, bags starting to appear under her eyes. Her blond tresses were gather messily in a ponytail, and her bags overflowed with heavyset books, but other than that, she looked absolutely ready to start the new school year.

"Morning, 'Vee!"

"Morning ladies." She immediately reached for the pumpkin juice. Grabbing her goblet, she filled it to the brim and drank it all down heartily in one go. "Now, what were you both chatting on about before I arrived?"

"Oh, nothing, really. Just discussing how gruesome my night back was," Lily said, sickly sweet.

Ivee, now downing her second cup of juice, snorted unladylike, "Cal's snoring kept you up, too, I see?" She laughed even harder when Callie glared at her.

"Oh, shut up! Like you don't snore, Lilykins! And you, 'Vee! Oh, don't even get me started!" The threesome continued to joke and prod at each other, most of then aimed towards a disgruntled Callie. Well, that's what she got for being a morning person!

They were interrupted by a beautiful chocolate-colored owl that swooped down and dropped a parcel before Lily. "Why, hello, _Noisette_." She stroked the bird's lovely wings with gentleness. She offered her beloved bird her bowl of grapes and snatched up the note. Eyebrow raised, she plucked off the wax seal and quickly scanned the letter. She blinked; her expression closely guarded, and then proceeded to burning the message with the tip of her wand. With one last pet on the head for _Noisette_, and respective air kisses on her best mates' cheeks, she departed.

"Where, in Merlin's beard, do you suppose she's going off to this early in the morning?" Ivee voiced her thoughts. She stroked the owl's head, and off too, it went with a small vine of grapes in its beak. Off to the Owlery, at best guess.

Still looking towards the direction where Lily stalked off, Callie shrugged, "I haven't the slightest idea."

* * *

Bag and books at hand, Lily rushed out of the Breakfast Hall. She congratulated herself for still being able to know her way around the great school, even after a four year absence. Turning a corner, she immediately regretted her praising as she ran into another student. Without looking up, she apologized profusely and bent down to retrieve her fallen book.

"Lily?" At the call of her name, she glanced up. She was surprised to find that the boy she so greatly admired (along with his less-than-tolerable friends) stood before her, each holding different facial expressions. "Lily? Lily, are you alright?" She blushed when she found herself caught in the act of staring, but shook her embarrassment away.

"Good morning Remus, Peter, Black. Potter," She simply nodded her head in his direction, turning away before she could catch his vague look of hurt. "If you excuse me, I must go." Wordlessly, she left again.

Utterly confused, the four boys stared after her retreating figure, watching it get smaller and smaller with each long stride.

"Well, that was rude." Sirius commented. Shrugging, he proceeded to walking towards the Breakfast Hall, his empty stomach urging him to hurry. "You chaps coming?"

Laughing at his mate's antics, Remus followed. "Honestly, Sirius! You act as if you haven't seen food in decades!"

"Shut it, Moony! It's been exactly eight hours and forty-seven minutes since my last meal! So unless you plan to give up one of your legs to my growling gut, I suggest we get a move on!" Still laughing heartily, Remus walked along with him, ushering Peter and James to do the same.

James, however, was walking at a steadier pace; gaze glued to the direction the current apple of his eye scurried off too. On impulse, he prepared himself to run on after her, uncontrollably curious about her behavior.

"James? Mate, you feeling all right?" Peter questioned him.

Shaking his head, he grinned at his friend. "Of course, Pete. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Breakfast is that way, James. Or have all your Quidditch injuries finally started taking effect?" He joked lightly. Dodging a swipe to the head, Peter held his hands up in defense. "I was just fooling around, James. No need to get physical." He teased again.

"Laugh it up, Wormy. We'll see who get the last laugh when all the muffins are gone!" With that, he ran full speed towards the Breakfast Hall, eager to get his hands on the food Peter favored most.

Groaning, Peter jogged after him, cursing his tongue. "James, you little plonker! Don't you dare touch my muffins!"

* * *

"Merlin, Black, slow down. As much as I'd adore seeing you choke and die, I'd rather it not be here when I can so easily be blamed for it." Callie remarked with disgust etched on her face.

Mouth still full, Sirius replied to her comment, spraying bits of food onto her. Immediately regretted doing so, because her right eyebrow rose, her nostrils flared, and her mouth pinched together. After years of encountering it, he knew it a clear sign of her anger.

"Black…" He gulped and kicked himself mentally. _Great start to getting back on her good side,_ he said to himself.

"Yes, Callie, my sweet?" He prayed to all the Gods above that endearing pet name would soften the blow. He knew, despite his prayers, that it wouldn't.

He braced himself for the blow.

* * *

Hello again, everyone! This is Claire Taylors under a new penname. I'm terribly sorry that it's taken me so long to update! Life has been rough for me the past few months, not to mention my intense writer's block! On another note, I have edited all the previous chapters, so I have changed a few minor details in the context. If you have any complaints or suggestions, please feel free to send me a private message or contact me through a review. Thanks so much to all those who have stuck by this story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Extremely sorry and grateful,  
M.H.


	7. Chapter Six

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

**Chapter Six**

"Black…" He gulped and kicked himself mentally. _Great start to getting back on her good side,_ he scolded himself.

"Yes, Callie, my sweet?" He prayed to all the Gods above that endearing pet name would soften the blow. Yet he knew, despite his prayers, that it wouldn't.

He braced himself for the blow.

"Now, now, children, play nice." The ever reasonable Remus crooned, laying a calming hand on Callie's shoulder, which seemed to be taking effect. "Sirius is sorry, aren't you, Sirius?" He turned toward the terrified boy, who plainly bobbed his head in accord. "That's a boy," He seated himself beside Callie, which of course, received a less than pleased reaction from Sirius.

The said boy swallowed the remains of the food in his mouth, and then bit into another disgusting amount of breakfast. "That's revolting, Siri." James commented from beside him.

Snorting in a rather dignified way, Sirius replied, "Like you're one to talk, Jamesie."

They continued to exchange witty remarks with each other, everyone knowing full well that it was all for good fun. Ivee and Callie were talking among themselves, once in a while replying to one of Remus' inputs. It aggravated the three boys (less so Peter, who was more interested in his muffins than anything else) that they spoke in hushed tones, and not even Sirius' sharp hearing could pick up their words. Deciding that he had stayed quiet far too long for his liking, James spoke up.

"Where was Lily rushing off to?" Ivee, Callie, and Remus immediately stopped chatting and looked at one another. They seemed to send messages through their gazes, and from what James could tell, they were debating over whom was to reply to his question. Clearing his throat, it was clear that the two girls chose Remus, probably due to the fact that he was one of his better mates.

"They don't know." He said simply, leaving plenty of room for explanation. However, much to James' annoyance, they offered none.

"We'll see you later, Remus. I left my Transfiguration book back on my bed, so I had better fetch it before it's too late." Ivee stood from her seat, hastily swallowing a bite of Peter's jam-filled muffin, which she nicked from right under his pudgy nose. "I have my lessons in the same corridor as Ivee here, so I'm just going to run along with her." Callie moved to leave, as well. They bid the boy respectful goodbyes and departed.

"Well, that sodding rude of them," Sirius huffed. Though irritated, his eyes followed Callie's form like that of a lost puppy. "Walking away without so much as a "Good day" or "See you in hell"." He bite callously into a sausage and continued to grumble. Though, Sirius lightly praised over the fact that they didn't kiss his cheek as a send-off salutation, something he had seen both magical and muggle girls do.

"Look alive, gents, Maggot and Slimeball have decided to make a presence," Peter whispered softly, but rising amusement was evident in his tone. And indeed, wearing an aura of dignified aristocracy, Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape swept across the Great Hall, a trail of Slytherin followers close at hand. Lucius, however, had his muscular arm around a short, blond girl, who would've been exceptionally beautiful if not for the sneer on her face. She seemed as proud as Lucius, the air around her practically hollering her great riches. The robes she was wearing helped quite a bit on that, as well.

Sirius snorted in his goblet full of milk. "Disgusting, Narcissa, is. Prancing around with that dolt, Malfoy, like some sort of scarlet woman. And they call _me_ a disgrace to the family!"

"How're you related to her, again, Siri?" Remus asked.

In mock thought, he placed a fisted hand underneath his chin and drew his eyebrows together. "Well, if I recall correctly, she's my mother's brother's pet goat's groomer's second cousin's dragon-keeping lover's cow."

James, Remus and Peter laughed lightly at their mate's frolics, patting him on the back before calming their laughter. "You truly are the stupidest man I know, Padfoot." Though the ending of the sentence was said in silence and discreet, James said it with all good humor.

"Hey, I may not be smart enough to do _everything_, but I sure as hell am daft enough to try _anything_!" Sirius replied. "Now, back to our regular business! What shall it be today for old Maggot and Slimeball? I admit that I've grown rather tired of the usual dung-bomb routine, but if you gentlemen don't have any other suggestions, I'll make no more complaints."

Peter straightened slightly in his seat and proposed charming their eating utensils to attack them. "It would be brilliant! I would _love_ to see them try to outrun their pretty, little knives!"

"Peter, mate, you are one sick-"

Remus immediately put his hand up, all signs of his previous happiness gone, and shook his head. "No. They've done nothing to possibly even trigger a glance towards them, and it's much too early to lie to the professors about them striking us first." As he moved, his new Head Boy badge shone against his robe-clad chest. Though the three of them still found the badge a bit unnerving, none of them wanted to embarrass Remus by proving to be a reckless crowd.

James nodded his head. "Alright, mate. For your sake, we'll tone down our behavior." He promised for the three of them as Peter slumped throughout the rest of breakfast, saddened that his marvelous prank would not be taking place, after all.

"Time to get going, mates! We wouldn't to keep our _dear, old professors_ waiting, now would we?"

- - -

James and Remus headed towards the dungeons, cauldrons and Potion's books at hand. They shouted a quick good bye to Peter – who headed for the Greenhouses – and Sirius – who cried that he would be seeing Remus later in Muggle Studies. Unlike the Head Boy, who took the class for the intended purposes, Sirius applied only because "it's an easy grade"! 

"What do you reckon Slughorn's got for us today, Moony?" James asked on their walk there.

Remus, never failing, gave him a thoughtful reply. "Seeing as it's the beginning of the year, it'll probably be something small. But then again, seeing as we _are_ in Advanced Potions…well, I guess we'll just have to see."

They arrived shortly to the classroom, the potion fumes and scenery ever familiar. It wasn't the smalls or sights, however, that James first spotted; but of the thick head of red hair spilling over one of the desks. "Lily?" He said aloud before he could stop himself. The head shot up immediately, and scanned the room for the voice who called out to her. Her eyes finally rested on James, and a scowl graced her lips. She looked at the young man beside him and the scowl lessened, much to his distastes. On impulse, he ran his hand through his hair.

"Remus! Remus, over here!" She waved. As the said boy approached, James following right behind him, she gestured to the empty seats beside her. "Good morning, Remus. So sorry about bumping into you, you know, earlier this morning." Again, a look of hurt flashed through James' eyes; she didn't even bother _looking_ at him. He took the seat to Remus' right, knowing full well that Lily probably wouldn't appreciate his closeness.

The other boy – seated to Lily's right - waved her apology away. "Quite alright, really. Say, where did you go? I asked Ivee and Callie at breakfast, and they didn't seem to know either."

The last statement seemed to have alerted Lily, but only the lift of her brow gave any sort of clue to it. "You asked where I was? How sweet of you, Remus." She said, although did not reply to the question. Remus, however, was not so keen on his question being diverted.

"Of course I asked! Wouldn't want anything to happen to the Head Girl on your first day back! Now, where did you say you went?" He asked casually. Realizing that he was not going to back down any moment, she gave him a fond smile and answered.

"I went to the Headmaster's office."

This surprised both the interrogative Remus and the eavesdropping James. "Oh? What did he want?"

"Really, now, Remus, what's with the questions? You act as if I'm a common criminal! But I must say you'll make one dashing father one day." Lily laughed, again successfully avoiding a question.

Looking very sheepish, Remus shrugged in order to keep the conversation relaxed. "Curious, is all."

"Well, if you must know, Professor Dumbledore was just giving me this," She pointed a non-manicured hand directly above her breast, to a piece of cut metal with the words _Head Girl_ gleaming on it proudly.

"Didn't it get sent to you, like Remus' did?" James asked, once again finding that his mouth moved faster than his head. For the second time in less than fifteen minutes, he mussed his hair with his hand. For the first time since they sat down, Lily glanced at him with cold set eyes. She hadn't even noticed that he had been listening in on their entire conversation until now. For the first time in his entire life, he felt so inadequate, and all because of a girl!

"Obviously not, or else I wouldn't have needed to go Dumbledore's office, now would I?" She said with such bitter bite that it left him stunned. Mentally, he compared the withdrawn, rosy-cheeked Lily from four years back to the one glaring at him now. Quite frankly, he found that the younger version of the girl was much less scary. Feeling brave, he met his eyes with her set and was even more astonished to find a fiery expression within them. It pierced him deeply, all the while thrilling his clever mind to make a witty comeback. He knew that four years ago, that would've been a look of complete adoration and devotion. Still, they were not the same people they were four years ago, and with growing regret, he knew that they never would be.

"Right," he said finally. "Stupid of me to ask. Sorry," He shifted himself so that he was now facing the front of the class, feeling singed and sour. He could still hear bits and pieces of a new conversation Lily and Remus were having and found himself gritting his teeth. Thankfully, Slughorm came through the door, his large belly looking about ready to explode from the mustard-colored robes he was wearing.

"Good morning, everyone! Welcome to Advanced Potions!" He raised his arms amiably, and trudged to his large desk as quickly as his stubby legs could take him. "So glad to see many familiar faces back to my class!" James looked around and noted that the room that was only half full when he and Remus first arrived was now suddenly fully seated with students. He took another look about and saw the distorted face of Snape. He found no surprise there, knowing that after taking Potions classes with him virtually every year of his Hogwarts education that Snape was an excellent Potioneer.

"Ah, Miss Evans! I was positively delighted when I heard that you were back! How fare your stay at _Merlin's_?" He beamed at his most prized student.

"It was a most blessing experience, Professor. The grounds were absolutely beautiful, and the people were nothing but lovely…but nothing could ever compare to good, old Hogwarts." Coming from anyone else, it would be clear that it was obviously recited, like a speech a newly crowned _Miss WonderWitch_ might say in the esteemed wizarding beauty pageant. But, coming from Lily and the way she gave her words, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that it was sincere.

Still staring at Lily with a precious look, Slughorn commented, "I hear that you were _quite_ the little successor in Potions. You were in Professor Armistead's class, were you not?" Lily nodded her head. "Ah, excellent man, he is, excellent man! Actually a very good friend of mine! He spoke ardently of your talents, Miss Evans, and of your wit, as well." The boasting was beginning to irritate the lime-lighted girl, fortunately only the Remus knew it. He found that the end of her left eyebrow lifted slightly when she was in this sort of state, which was very often whenever James was around.

Eventually – actually, about twenty-seven minutes later – he stopped his embarrassing blabbering and started with his lessons. "Now," he started. "Who of you here can tell me the name of the infamous person who not only managed to outdo the greatest of Potioneers, but also managed to entice probably one of the greatest wizards of all time into an untimely death?"

This statement completely perplexed every student in the class. Who could this wizard be? Merlin, perhaps? The great man _did_ have a school named after him, along with an Order which any magician would be proud to receive, and various stories evoking his boldness and power. Thinking so, a young man that sat to the far right of the class raised his hand. Using the pointed finger Slughorn had turned on him as a gesture to speak, he answered, "Merlin, Professor? English legends do tell us that he could use his amazing magic to do the unthinkable! He could transform himself to any creature at whim, see into the future, and even control the destinies of men. It must be Merlin!" Lily looked back and that the young man was none other than Roy Allenford, a blond headed boy with a charming smile.

She remembered him fondly, even when she was not pleasant to look at and quite heavy, he always treated her with his best regard and courtesy. She was pleased to see him in her class.

"It can't be," Sentrine Rousseau, a short girl with a creamy complexion, called out. Lily, too, was glad to see her in the class. She was still a very shy girl when she left, but looking at her now, she saw the glow of confidence as she spoke. "Merlin is considered to be one of the greatest, if not _the_ greatest sorcerer of all time. I see no reason why he would have to outdo himself, and I highly doubt that he would seduce himself to death."

"Very good, Miss Rousseau. I'm afraid to say that she's correct, Mr. Allenford. Very common answer, Merlin is." Slughorn looked about the class. "Anyone else like to give a go?"

"Could it be one of the school's Founders? Maybe Godric Gryffindor or Salazar Slytherin?" Sentrine guessed. The students in the two mentioned house straightened in their seats, hoping feverishly that their Founder was the prevailing wizard Slughorn was speaking of.

"Excellent guess, Miss Rousseau, but wrong again."

A few more minutes of silence passed by and still no one could think of any man capable of doing such a feat. Remus spoke out this time. "Certainly, there is no such man, Professor. It's a trick question." He looked very confident of his answer, and looks of realization spread around the class.

"Remus is right. It is a trick question, isn't it, Professor? No man could possibly outdo Merlin!" Eden Demers agreed.

Finally, Lily raised her voice. "Of course Remus is right." Remus grinned at her compliment. "We can't possibly think of anyone who is capable of out-performing Merlin, because we're all thinking of the wrong gender. It was a woman who managed to bring the great wizard to his knees."

"A witch!" Many young men cried out. "Impossible!"

Slughorn chuckled and gave a booming applause to Lily's direction. "Well done, Miss Evans. I believe you are the first to ever answer my question fittingly. Ten points to Gryffindor! Now, tell me, might you have a name to go with your theory?"

"Many, in fact, Professor. She was called numerous names, and had even more titles; Vivien, Niniane, Nimue," she listed. "And every so often you find a piece of literature that declares her _Dame del Lac _or the Lady of the Lake." She said.

"So it was a _woman_?" The students all questioned out loud. Lily shot them all cold looks.

"Why so surprised? Even in our times, the greatest weakness of man is the temptations of woman. Do you men not pride yourselves in knowing that Adam's falling in the Bible was due to Eve's persistency and not because of his own weakness? Don't you all blame Helen of Troy for that bloody war because of her hold on the two most powerful men at the time? For centuries now, women have been the so-called _fall of humankind_, so, why do you find this so hard to believe?"

James found that her answer was very logical. Womanly wiles could bring down the strongest of male minds; history was clear evidence of it. However, that was not the main thought in his head. Instead, he pondered of the fiery look in her eyes as her mouth – that mouth! – ran away with the words of her speech. She was not even standing, yet her words and tone made her appear bigger than half the scholars in the room.

"Very good, Miss Evans, very good! Another ten points! Now, that leads us to the beginning of our lesson. If you would all turn to page six-hundred-and-four in your text books, you will find the start of the chapter and we will begin." They all flipped through the thick book in search of the assigned page, the females in the class very excited to learn more about the said witch. "As we will learn, the notorious sorceress – we will simply address her as Vivien – was an apprentice to Merlin. He taught her his spells and tricks, in return for her love."

"Oh, so even back then men were horny little bastards, huh?" Joyce Venturi hollered from her seat. All the girls smirked and looked at the closest chap to them.

Slughorn turned a lovely shade of purple and snapped at Joyce, "Now, now, we'll have none of that. Merlin was an extraordinary man, indeed, but he was still human. His emotions couldn't be helped. He truly was in deep infatuation with her."

When she was sure that his back was turned, Joyce rolled her eyes and replied with a low voice, "Infatuation? My arse! Next he's going to tell us that the tent in Jacob's pants isn't due to the nude photograph of the veelas in chapter twelve." Again, the girls laughed, accompanied this time by the few boys in the room who heard her.

James was one of the few among them who didn't hear, but instead paid more attention to the text. As he looked further down the chapter, he found the most intricate portraits of the witch. The most detailed, he found, was also the most intriguing. There was Merlin; with his beard prosperous and long, leaning against a tree, while a youthful, stunning witch draped herself on his lap and feet. He concluded that this must've been Vivien. The expression on his face could not be described as anything short of love, Vivien's mirroring it.

"Take out your cauldrons, everyone! We will be concocting the very potion that Merlin first taught Vivien." With a wave of his wand, Slughorn opened the doors to the supply cabinet. "Any ideas to what that potion might be?"

Lily was the first to raise her hand. "The _Incubo Draught_. It means "nightmare" in Italian. It will resurface the drinker's darkest memories and will plunge them to relive their memories, only now their pain and suffering will be doubled ten fold. If given enough, the drinker will 'scare' himself into insanity."

"Another ten points!" He applauded, along with a few other Gryffindor students. The Slytherins were appalled by all the rewarding and attention he was given them, almost as if he had completely forgotten that he was the Head of _their_ house.

"This potion was rumored to be the secret behind all of King Arthur's success in wars. He would summon Merlin to create this potion, and, using his magic, replace the wine and water in the goblets of his enemies with this brew."

James' grinned in recognition, recollecting all his memories of playing the same sneaky trick on the Slytherins and various other people who pissed him off. Only he hadn't used such toxic blends in his tomfoolery.

"Was that how Vivien managed to kill Merlin?" Roy questioned.

"Not at all. Though in love, he was, Merlin was still no such fool. Feeding him poisonous refreshments or foods would have been a waste of time. Remember, he was also an exceptional Potioneer. Even if someone did convince him to take their fatal offering, he would have found some sort of antidote to heal himself." Slughorn explained.

"Then how did she kill him?"

This time, Slughorn took a bit more time when responding. "Well, legend has it that she didn't kill him at all; merely encased him. Where? Legend is not sure. There are different stories. One tale says that Vivien trapped him in a large rock. Another says that she imprisoned him inside an oak tree. No one is positive. Certainly, many magical folk have search for Merlin's prison, but no one has yet to really pinpoint the exact location.

"Now, enough chitchat. Let's get to work, shall we?" With another wave of his wand, Slughorn's dainty, almost feminine writing was etched on the board. Written, were the instructions to create the renowned potion.

It looked very complicated ("_Dip your _popussium leaves_ in _nectract honey _exactly eleven seconds before adding them in so they won't burn._") and extremely time-consuming ("_Wait seven minutes and stir clockwise four times. Wait another four minutes and stir another three times: the first two stirs counter-clockwise, the third clockwise, and the last counter-clockwise once more."_)

"You will partner up with the person in front of you." No one in the first row cracked a joke about no one being in front of them. That joke was simply over-used and out dated.

Lily was partnered with Lilac Bishops, a sweet girl with russet locks and matching eyes. They smiled at each other, equally warm on both sides, and compromised who was to get which ingredient. Remus was with Eden Demers, the boy who first approved of his notion. Their personalities didn't clash very much, so both found it their partnership very promising.

James, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. He was stuck with Chloe Anderson, a very intelligent girl (he had sneaked a peek at her parchment a few times back in fifth year) but also incredibly domineering. She was also one of the very few who could resist his charisma. She barked at him to get the required materials from the cabinet, but half way there, she rushed past him, telling him, "For a man who can zoom by on a broom as quickly as a dragon can fly, your walking skills aren't very promising, Potter." He doubted that he would be able to do anything in today's class, watching her practically run back and forth from the cabinet to their concocting station.

"Potter! Stop standing there looking pretty and get your arse over here! We have exactly an hour and four minutes before class ends and I want to have some extra time afterwards to run a few tests with my potion to see if its right." She shouted at him again.

Walking over, he placed two fingers on the bridge of his nose and rubbed. "This is going to be one hell of a class."

- - -

Hello again, everyone! I'm dreadfully sorry for the extremely long wait! I will not make my excuses because I know none of you want to hear them. As an apology, I have made this chapter quite a bit lengthier then I usually do. I hope you enjoy it!

Please note that the information written here about Merlin and Vivien is** not**__all fact. Some tidbits of is in deprived from a few books and pieces I have read, but most of it is not. The potion mentioned here, as well, is fictional and from my own ingenious mind (haha). Also, I would like to apologize to those who do not agree with my views about the history of womanhood and the stories written in the Bible. It was not my intention to insult anyone (I, myself, am Roman Catholic), but I felt the need to write out my opinion about it because of an inspiring discussion I had in one of my classes the other day. Once again, I apologize in advance.

On a lighter note, thank you to all who have been supporting this story! I feel that I do not seem to stress enough exactly how valuable you guys are! Thank you!

Until next time,  
M.H.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

**Chapter Seven **

Advanced Potions class was going exceptionally well – for the most part, at least. Remus and Eden worked compromisingly on their own brew, managing to avoid over mixing the concoction as Slughorn had warned. Lily and Lilac worked industriously, as well, also taking the time to keep a steady conversation between them.

James, just as he expected, was not as lucky. So far, the most he had managed to do was stir the blasted potion, and even then, Chloe – his demeaning partner – plucked the ladle from his grasp and took it upon herself to finish his small task. "I don't trust you to do it properly, Potter." She said plainly, and waved him off. Disgruntled, James shrugged and decided to fiddle with the silver blade designated to slice the _Flubberworm Intestines_. However, in a matter of seconds, that too was taken away from him by Chloe, and he nearly had to restraint himself from strangling the obnoxious girl. To distract his fidgeting hands, he ran them through his hair once more (and found that he, too, was growing tired of his repetitive habit).

Grunting and mumbling curses under his breath, he then decided that the next best thing to do was simply lay back and relax. Putting both hands on the back of his head, James closed his eyes and let his body fall into an eased position. His ears perked and he began listening to the surrounding conversations between the rest of the students.

"Can you believe Nicola Grayson's new haircut? It's absolutely appalling! Merlin, it's as if a pixie came after her with scissors or something! Poor girl…"

"Hmm, seems as if we haven't got enough _Nightshade_ _Bile_…Let me go ask Eden for some."

"So, how was it at your other school, Lily?"

The last string of words caught his attention immediately, and he inched himself a bit closer to the two girls' direction in order to catch more than just tidbits of their banter.

Lilac was busy stirring their light apricot colored potion while Lily was scribbling away with her parchment and peacock quill. "Well, it was alright, I wager. The classes were extremely interesting and a lot more advanced than the ones here. Hmm, this should be more of an orange color…" She pointed towards their potion and frowned slightly.

The uniquely-named girl wrinkled her nose and ignored Lily's last comment. "Sounds unbelievably dull, if you ask me. The classes here at Hogwarts already keep me on my toes!" Lilac paused her stirring for a breadth of a second to pull back a loose lock of hair that escaped her tight bun. "Anyways, what I really want to know is, how was the _view_ over there?" She wriggled her eyebrows in a playful manner.

Lily gave a shy smile and continued with her writing. "Well, there was a lake there, though I wouldn't exactly call it a lake. It was clear, and vast, and oh, the creatures that swam there were positively exciting! In fact, I swore I saw a _Kappa_ there once –"

"No, no!" The other girl chuckled gaily, and James couldn't blame her. Even he knew exactly what she had meant by the seemingly innocent question. "I don't mean _that_ kind of view. I meant, how good-looking were the chaps over there? Were they broad-shouldered hunks with brains or four-eyed little bookworms that only fantasized about women like us?"

It was Lily's turn to laugh. "Not at all! That discriminatory image of an intelligent male is well overused. To tell you the truth, the boys there were very handsome. A lot of them exceeding handsome, actually," she had the courtesy to blush delicately, as if she were caught eating a biscuit an hour before supper. She began indulging Lilac's imagination with descriptions of fair-haired boys with dreamy eyes and tones of voices. James couldn't help but imitate a gagging noise when Lily began telling the boy-obsessed girl about a lad named _Edward_ and how "positively charming he was when he helped her retrieve a book from a high shelf in the library".

"If it weren't for the fact that I was going out with Colton, I'd probably be packing my bags right this second!" Lilac laughed.

"You're going out with Colton? Colton Brown?"

"Yeah, you remember him, right? The dirty blond chaser for Ravenclaw's Quidditch team?" She said with her voice laced with a daydreamer's sigh. Lily tilted her head to the side, trying to trace a face with the name. She remembered him, alright; during their First Year, he had thrown dung bombs in the Great Hall at some rowdy Slytherins and at his haste, struck her with a few. It was her very first encounter with magical pranks, and it was most certainly not her last.

"Oh, yes, I remember him." She found no reason to recall those memories with Lilac and she certainly didn't want to belittle him in front of his girlfriend! "How's it going between you two?"

She tucked the quill behind her ear, but not before making sure the tip was clear of ink.

"Well," Lilac grinned. "He first asked me out last year a week before our first Hogsmeade trip and, as they say, the rest was history!" She seemed to glow when she talked about her boyfriend, and Lily felt a slight pang of jealousy go through her. However, she managed to smile weakly, gave her a remark of congratulations, and focused on the boiling potion. Thinking about her successful brew, her mood heightened. She was beyond pleased; the brew was acting as it should've. From its light-orangey color, it had changed to a slivery gray, and had just begun emitting teal-colored bubbles.

Slughorn, noting that the end of class was nearing, clapped his hands for attention. "Take a few more minutes to add any final ingredients to your potions. The _Incubo Draught_ must stand in a cooled room for a month's time. This allows it to strengthen its affects and will permit it time to dissolve into pale – almost clear color, much like _Veritaserum_. See page six hundred and forty-two in your textbooks to distinguish the differences. Also, keep note that…"

All but Lily and a few of the more serious student tuned out. Sighing with boredom, he turned to Remus. "What time is it?" he inquired. He hope that it was now magically (no pun intended) noon, and nearing lunch. He hadn't had enough during breakfast.

Glancing at the fogged up glass of his magical watch, Remus replied, "Quarter-past ten. How're you faring with your potion, James?" He took that time to glance over at his own potion. Finding that it was as it should've been, as described by Slughorn's instructions, James gave himself a mocking pat on the back for his _hard_ work.

"We're doing great, over here. How's it with Eden?" He jerked his head towards his mate's own partner.

Giving a toothy grin, Remus gave the same reply. He returned to his work, taking the glass beaker Eden had handed him. Ladling some into the beaker, he then took a piece of parchment, and scribbled both their names on it. "Eden, would you mind performing a _Sticking Charm_ on this? My wand's a little sticky from the _nectract honey_."

"Sure, give it here." Eden muttered the spell under his breath and went on his way to hand it to Slughorn.

Remus wiped the gluey substance off his wand with the hem of his robes. He took that moment alone to glance at the girl working diligently at the station beside his. Be felt himself blush as he took in her silken, pale skin, the freckled bridge of her nose… he sighed deeply, catching James' attention.

"What with the goofy look, Moony?" He asked, speaking his nickname is a hushed tone.

Giving his friend a black stare for a few fleeting seconds, Remus finally snapped back into reality and answered him with a dismissing, "Nothing," James raised an eyebrow and took a glance at the direction Remus was previously facing. A smile began to bloom on his face as realization flooded into his mind.

"You fancy someone," He said simply.

Blinking, his mate retorted, "No, I don't." The vibrant blush on his face, however, gave his secret entirely away.

Without missing a beat, James rose from his own seat and looked down upon Remus. "Who's the lucky girl, Moony? Because if you plan on being a father one day, I pray to Merlin it's not Lilac. You know how Colt gets when it comes to his girl." He joked.

Remus gave him a look of disbelief. "No, it's not Lilac! Absolutely not!" He pretended to busy himself with the cleaning of his work station, muttering spell after spell to wipe up any spilt bile or to recap any open containers. His friend was insistent and was by his side before he even blinked.

"So, there is someone," He smirked arrogantly. "Spill, Moony. Who is it?" With a flick of his wand, James cleared the dirtied cauldron and levitated the extra, unused ingredients back into the storage cupboard.

"Put a sock in it, James. I don't fancy anybody." Remus said convincingly, lifting his chin as if challenging him to say otherwise.

James, all the more determined now, cocked an eyebrow, but continued to clean. "Alright then, who have you fallen in love with?" He got his hoped reaction as Remus' eyes bulged out, almost dropping the two half-empty jars of potions ingredient he had been holding.

"Now I know you've gone completely mental, mate." Said Remus, his voice faltering. "Just drop it, will you? By the way, Chloe looks about ready to castrate you." Turning, James found that, indeed, his own charming Potions partner was glaring a hole into the back of his head, monstrously beckoning him over to help her clean up. Signaling that he found be there in a few moments, he quickly muttered to Remus, "We're not done talking about this. Meet up with Padfoot, Wormtail, and I later tonight in the Gryffindor's common room." With a flourish of his school robes, he was off, saying a silent prayer before he faced the wrath of a _very_ angry woman.

Remus, on the other, sighed and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. It was only the first day, and already the stress was building. Lovely.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

**Chapter Eight**

Remus was wracking his brain desperately for a lie of some sort during his walk towards Muggle Studies. He wasn't all too happy about having to lie to his best mates, but for his safety, and the safety of his future children, it had to be done.

"What should I tell them?" He muttered to himself. He figured he was looking like a complete delinquent at the moment, talking to himself and all, but he brushed off the uneasy feeling. "I could say that I fancy Stephanie Timmons… she was my Potion's partner last year. Yes, that'll do… but oh! She's going out with that Mark Keiths fellow. Ugh!" He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the curious girl that managed to catch up to him.

"Remus?" His head snapped so swiftly to the side that he swore he heard a tiny 'snap'. His normally semi-pale face turned rose and he found himself unable to speak. "Are you feeling ill? Should I bring you to the Infirmary?"

At last, his tongue ran back to him. "No! No, I'm perfectly fine, Lily, but thank you all the same." He flashed her a weak smile. The fiery girl looked relieved to hear this, and he couldn't help but flash her another.

"So where're you off to?" She asked, her head tilting slightly to the left as she did so. He couldn't help but find the action completely adorable, and he blushed again. "Um… To that class… Um… Muggle Whatsits…" He answered distractedly.

"Muggle Studies," Lily laughed out, amused by his sweet antics. "I swear, Remus, you're getting dimmer and dimmer each passing day!" She tucked a thick lock of her red hair behind her pierced ear and grinned until her right dimple showed. She pleasantly changed the subject.

"How was your summer? I apologize for not having asked earlier, but you know…" She gave an apologetic smile.

He returned it graciously. "Well, I didn't do anything exceptionally exciting, like tame dragons or give a goblin a wedgie," he stopped briefly while Lily gave a joyous giggle at his words. "So, don't expect anything like that."

"Ah, then I'd best not tell you about my live slumber party with the vampires. Or my day at the salon with werewolves." She threw her head back as she laughed, and Remus felt a shiver climb up his spine. She glanced at him worriedly when he quivered; noticing how he stiffened visibly after her comment. "Remus? Remus, what's wrong? Should I escort you to the hospital wing?" She asked again, much more demanding than the first time, as she laid a gentle hand on his arm.

Breathing deeply, he forced himself to look her in the eye and give out a weak smile. "No, no, I'm perfectly fine. Just feeling a tad bit tired. I'm fine."

Still unconvinced, she shook her head and gripped him upper arm to lead him towards the opposite direction. "No, I still think that we should get you checked out. After my comment-" She stopped talking very abruptly and instantly, a look of guilt flowed into her features. "Oh, Remus! I'm so sorry!" She engulfed him in a tight hug; her guilt-stricken face snuggling into his chest. "I completely forgot about your fear of wolves. I'm so sorry! I didn't realize it was so strong."

Remus patted the Lilly consolingly on back, he himself feeling guilty that he had to tell her such an atrocious lie. "Lilly, shh, it's okay. It's not your fault."

"Oh, but it is!" A muffled whine came from her chest. Some students walking by gave them a once over and raised a knowing eyebrow at their passionate positions. Others – those of the male variety – growled and trudged off to their class, muttering how the popular foursome always got the best-looking girls. "I can't believe I was so inconsiderate as to have forgotten such an important aspect of your life! You're one of my best mates! I truly am sorry, Remus!"

"It's okay. I promise you, it'll be okay." _ What_ would be okay, he didn't specify, nor did he ever intend to. He was playing a dangerous game here, flirting with his curse in such a way that it could eventually be the death of him. In such a way that it could be the death of someone he loved very dearly.

He remembered very vividly the day he told her about his phobia, his fear of wolves. His friendship with Lily was just beginning to blossom; and they wrote to each other daily. One of the letters, he recalled, asked him, "What are you afraid of, Remus? What scares you the most in this world?"

With a heavy heart, he replied with a gruesome experience he went through when he was very young. While camping one day with his family, he encountered a famished wolf, eager for the blood of his youthful body. Fortunately, he managed to escape in one piece. He sighed deeply; that part was true, at the very least.

He gently pried her guilty arms from around him and looked her straight in the eye. "It's fine. Really. Let's get to class. It would be a terrible thing we the two Heads were late on their first day."

Mockingly, he bowed at the waist and offered his arm; all the while tipping his imaginary top hat. "M'lady?" Giggling and glad to be out of the awkwardness, Lily raised the hem of her skirt and curtsied.

"Hmm, lovely." And together, the two teens floated towards Muggle Studies, with one heart beating so immensely loud that the owner was sure that all of England could hear it.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

**Note: I've revised this chapter from its previous content of the story and decided to use a different approach. In other words, instead of using the story of **_**Tristan and Isolde**_**, I instead plan to use the story of the **_**Love Talker**_**. For those who aren't aware, both pieces of literature are, in fact, REAL, and therefore do not belong to me. For those curious for more in depth information on the story of the **_**Love Talker**_**, please feel free to send me an email or private message. **

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

**Chapter Nine**

The two arrived just in time for Muggle Studies, with an ecstatic Sirius waving his arm frantically from his seat. He pointed to an empty desk right behind then noticed Lily standing awkwardly right beside his mate. Smiling lightly, he also indicated towards a free desk in front of him, and with a suspicious, but thankful smile, she took it. "Thanks," She mumbled.

Still guilt-stricken, Sirius flashed a wolfish grin and said loudly, "You're very welcome!" Thankfully, Professor Wishlet – the half-blood instructor for the subject – walked in and kept him from making anymore embarrassing outbreaks.

The pretty teacher gave a sweeping motion with her wand and the heavy curtains sprung open. "Welcome back! Hope you had a very relaxing vacation, because now it's time to work hard. You're in your final year, young witches and warlocks! I expect nothing less than perfect dedication and hard work from all of you."

"Dedication? _Hard work_? Bloody hell, woman, we're learning about _muggles_! What the bloody fuck could be so interesting about them? If it weren't for the fact that I failed this useless class last year, I wouldn't be here." A snippy Slytherin barked from the back. He was one of the _very_ few Slytherins in the class, and from the looks of it, neither he nor any one of his little pals enjoyed being there.

Wishlet's eyes narrowed at the boy. "I will _not_ tolerate such language in this classroom, Mr. Avery. Five points from Slytherin. Now, if you have nothing else to complain about, I would like to start my lesson now, if you please. I would much rather that you weren't here next year, as well." She smirked at the glowering student. She flicked her wand once more, though a lot more gracefully than the first time, and the cupboards opened immediately. Piles of books floated their way towards them and, one by one, landed on each student's desk.

"Muggle literature?" Sirius read aloud once his book was leveled. "So, we're going to learning about tiny little teapots that had spouts and tipped over? And here I thought this class was going to be a brain-whacker!" The class erupted in laughter.

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Black," Wishlet laughed while the Slytherins sneered at him, clearly disgraced to be in the same room as the blood traitor. "We'll be reading much more _mature_ pieces of muggle literature… starting with the romantics!" Wishlet gave an airy sigh, as did some of the females in the room. "Now, be quick to note that there are two main types of romance: comical romance, and tragic romance. Either or, they are both dramatic and filled with lust, and passion, and…" she let the sentence drop with another sigh.

Sirius groaned, along with the rest of the males students. This was exactly the type of class he signed for, he thought grimly. One filled with idiotic stories about half naked men sweeping half naked women into their arms… well, when put that way, he thought with an entertained smile, it could one very interesting year. He glanced over at Remus and saw him (quite typically) flipping through the book.

"How's it sound, Remus?" He asked, finding himself (also quite typically) too lazy to flick the cover open and find out for himself.

Not taking his eyes off the page he was currently skimming through,Remus shrugged. "Not much to say about it. From what I picked up, someone's dying."

"Oh, do you think it's because of a muggle dual? You know how much I love muggle fighting!" Sirius nearly jumped from his seat in excitement as Lily tried hard to conceal her growing grin. "Oh, yes! I can't wait!" Nearby Slytherins heard his noisy proclamations and sneered at him once more for his impure obsessions.

Wishlet frapped her wand two times across the edge of her lectern, quickly grabbing the attention of her students. "Now, to start, who can name a few romantic muggle classics?" A few hands shot up almost immediately. "Mr. Deanvar?"

"Well, there's that one with that Julie girl and the Roman lad," a sandy haired boy answered hesitantly.

Wishlet, however, brightened at his vague description. "Why, yes, _Romeo and Juliet_. Well done, Mr. Deanvar; Five points to Hufflepuff. This play is considered, for very good reason, one of the more successful stories in muggle literature. It was first a poem written by a man by the name of Arthur Brooke in the late 1500's. William Shakespeare took the concept of the poem – which Brooke revealed to have been inspired from an old Italian story – and turned it into one of the most famous plays to ever grace the muggle world." She grinned to herself at the evidently growing interest some of her students were now displaying. "We shall be reading that later on this year. Any others?"

Whislet's grin slowly faded as no more hands flew up. It was quite clear that David Deanvar had stolen the answer of many. Thankfully, Lily was never one to disappoint her professors.

"Yes, Miss Evans, dear?"

"There's _Beauty and the Beast_, whose author depends on what adaptation is being told. And _The Phantom of the Opera_ by Gaston Leroux. Oh, and the story of _Tristan and Isolde_." Lily listed wistfully, biting her lip as she tried to think of more. "And the tale of the _Love Talker_."

"Excellent, excellent! Fifteen points to Gryffindor. Well done, Miss Evans! You even managed to figure out which classic we are going to start with!" Clapping her hands for attention, she bid the students to open their books to the third page. "We will be starting with – one of my personal favourites – the story of the _Love Talker_. Now, can anybody tell me a brief summary of this story?"

With a smug smile on his face, Avery raised his hand. Wishlet was clearly taken aback, but she allowed him to speak, nonetheless. "Honestly, what's the point in reading this rubbish? When are we ever going to use this in our lives? They're bloody _muggles_! All we need to know about the dull chaps is that they're completely useless and are usually scared robe-less when it comes to magic!"

Instead of the scolding the class was positive he was going to get, the youthful teacher simply laughed. "Oh, Mr. Avery. I'm so very glad you decided to bring up the subject." She stood behind her lectern; her posture relaxed but radiated a sense of sternness. "You see, whether magical or otherwise, stories always provide a moral or a message to the reader. Sometimes that moral will be obvious, sometimes it will not. This story, in particular, has a very important message; one, that will be to your utter surprise Mr. Avery, which corresponds with magic and the negative possibilities to those who abuse it." The boy, however, rolled his eyes at her words and crossed his arms over his matured chest, his face still skeptic. "Now, I will ask once more: can anybody tell me a brief summary of this story?"

Remus raised his hand slowly, realizing the connection between the text he managed to catch and the title. "Well, I'm not entirely sure of all the details, but I do know it's about faeries." He reddened slightly at his small confession, and many of the other lads around him wondered to themselves how he knew such information.

"Very good, Mr. Lupin! That's another five points." Wishlet beamed.

"_Faeries!I_"Avery scoffed. "Now I'm positive that this class is a joke! Who the bloody hell would even take the time to about read bloody faeries, let alone _write _about them?" He sent a sneer over to Remus and bit out, "Should've figured that Potter wasn't the only freak in our school,"

Sirius straightened from his seat, his grave face and low (almost feral) growl clearly screaming for the Slytherin to back off before he made him. Remus however, gave him no mind as he was frighteningly aware of the lovely redhead seated across from him. She, too, looked at him, but there was no surprise or sense mockery in her gaze; only the pinning look of curiosity.

Lily, being of the many girls who were curious, asked Remus, "Do you know anything that else happens in the story, Remus?" She titled her head in the most adorable matter, one that even caught the confident Sirius' interest. For a moment, he began to realize what James had seen in her. However, thinking of the red-headed beauty made him think of his own auburn love, with personality to match her spirited eyes.

What a dolt he had been, back in their third year. This ridiculous stunt back then, he also realized, screwed him over big time. He groaned audibly and Lily turned around in her seat to be certain that he wasn't dying. Callie would want the honor of killing him, of course, and having him perish now was hardly fair for one of her best friends.

"Black? Are you all right?" Without waiting for an answer, she huffed, "Honestly, what's wrong with all the boys today? First Remus, now you… next is probably going to be that blasted Avery!" Giving the last comment a second thought, she added, "Well, I suppose the latter wouldn't be that much of a tragedy."

The fellow Gryffindor laughed gaily, but slyly slid a questioning look at Remus, asking him what Lily was talking about. Receiving a shrug in return, he turned his attention back at the girl in front of him. "I'm fine, Lily," He noted with delight that there was no such malice in her striking green eyes, despite his cruelty towards her years ago. "Just a bit of a stomach ache, you know." He brushed off the subject like a speck of dust on his robes. "Um, well, it's great to see you back, Lily."

The girl found it nearly laughable that Sirius, one of the proudest womanizers of Gryffindor house, stutter shyly at her. Being courteous, she replied, "It's great to be back, Black."

"To answer your previous question, Lils, I don't remember very much about it. It's an old Irish folktale my mother used to tell me," Remus intervened, once again claiming attention for himself. "I do believe that it had something to do with the interaction between humans and faeries… or something along those lines." He scratched the back of his neck bashfully. "I would usually fall asleep before I really started to understand the story. But to be honest, I'm quite surprised that you don't know this story."

"Yeah," Sirius slowly realized. "Didn't you grow up with muggles?" Lily's pleasantry quickly dissolved and her mouth formed into a tight line. Her expression grew into stone, but she did not retreat her eyes.

"Yes, I did." She shifted around in her seat once more, giving both lads her back. Thankfully, neither of them had a chance to reply to her cold behavior as another series of claps sounded in the classroom. Wishlet called upon them all to give her their attention. "Well, Miss Evans, we'll just have to find out what happens next, don't we? Now class, if you may all open up to the prologue…"

* * *

Hello everyone! My deepest apology for the EXTREME lateness of this chapter. I offer no excuses or reason, just my sincerest regrets and a pleasant cup of pudding to all of you who are still reading this story.

Till next time,  
(The newly christened) Ardent Ly


	11. Chapter Ten

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

* * *

**Chapter Ten **

" ' … _Even she shimmered now, near invisible. "Very well." He found the instrument in his hands. "Farewell, Galen." He was alone_.' "

Wishlet closed the book momentarily, bringing to place a marking finger in the spot where she had left off. "Now, class, with these few pages, what have we learned so far about the story?"

Avery, ever the little blighter, spoke up. "A faery Queen decided that one of her randy faery mates was getting _too_ randy and so decided to curse him. Big deal," He rolled his eyes in distaste and leaned far back in his chair. He was the perfect picture of an unresponsive student at this point.

Shaking her head, in amusement or disappointment one couldn't be sure, the young professor chose to ignore his distasteful outburst and asked once more, "Anyone with a description of greater detail and less morbidity?"

"Well, it's simply about a roguish faery who felt no remorse as he – though unwillingly – killed the mortal women he seduced." Lily answered after a few quick revisits to the text. "And while even one was getting buried, he would plot the seduction of the next. So, as punishment for his never-ending mistreatment, his Queen cursed him into a life of seclusion and loneliness, where all would hear him, but none could see him. Only when true love found his way would he be free of such enchantments; but of course, such a thing would be impossible. For who could ever learn to love what they cannot see; what they cannot understand?"

"Very good, Miss Evans. Any ideas as to the importance behind the pipe the Queen allowed him to keep?"

"Pipe? As in, _smoking _pipe?! Damn, this story is getting better and better!" Another Slytherin, Amycus Carrow, called out simplemindedly.

"No, you halfwit," Sirius rolled his dark irises. "A _musical_ pipe. Godric Gryffindor, even _I_ knew that!"

"Shut your trap, blood traitor."

"Miss Evans?" Wishlet urged, wanting to direct the attention of the tension-filled class to the real subject at hand.

"Um, I'm sorry, Professor, but I really have no idea."

"Not to worry dear. We'll just have to keep reading on." Wishlet took a swift glance at the large hourglass that was situated in the far corner and, seeing that very little sand remained on the upper half of the contraption, clapped her hands to wrap it up. "And so, dear class, we have the basis for our story. I would like you all to start reading; chapters one and two by tomorrow, if you please." She heard a few groans and protests and tsk-ed soundly. "Tomorrow." She stressed, and with that, waved her hand in salutation.

"I don't know why those lazy gits are complaining," Sirius snorted. "There're less than ten chapters in the stupid story. I guess any more than three chapters becomes too much for their puny brains to handle," He laughed at his own joke. Remus rolled his soft blue eyes, but couldn't help the small grin that crept its way on his mouth.

Both boys stuffed the forsaken books into their sacks and started towards the door as the others did.

"Faeries and queens, what utter nonsense! This entire course is complete rubbish; I don't see why it's mandatory!" Avery continued to moan and groan, gaining encouragement from the other one or two Slytherins' agreements.

The Head Boy turned; ready to snap at the blubbering idiot, when someone beat him to the punch.

"Oh, honestly, shut up already! It's only the first day and already you're bitching like a child who wasn't given a pumpkin pasty before supper. How typically Slytherin." Lily narrowed her eyes at the dumb-founded boy. She gathered her books in her arms and was just about to leave when a piercing hand grabbed hold of her.

"Oh, see here, mates. Looks like the little Mudblood finally grew some balls!" Avery sneered. However, there was no masking the lust in his gaze as it trailed her "Mudblood" body up and down, an untamed eyebrow rising as he conjured delicious thoughts.

The girls in the room gasped lightly at his audacity to call her such a foul, dirty word, and the boys merely looked at him with tightened eyes, knowing to expect such a thing from the members of such a boorish House.

Mimicking his actions, her eyes dropped to his crotch. Smirking brightly, she bit back with a vengeance, "Glad one of us has, Avery." He instantly grew red at the un-muffled giggles and chuckles from his classmates. "Now get your grubby hands off me before I choose to take away points." She pulled out of his grasp. "And if you _ever_ think to touch me again, you vile _flobberworm_, I'd suggest you watch your back. They taught us quite a bit back at _Merlin's_ and I won't hesitate to use you as a guinea pig. Good day." She shot him one more stone cold look and departed. As she left, the surprised whispers from her classmates didn't fail to reach her ears and a haughty grin grew on her face.

"Did you see that? Blimey, I never took Evans as such a spitfire!"

"Haha, bloody Avery had that coming!"

"Mate, that was the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life!"

Wishlet witnessed the entire scene in silence from the shadows, a satisfied smile reaching her eyes. Before she turned to leave, she focused her look to the Head Boy's face, swearing to have seen a flash of pride and adoration run through his expression. The smile turned into a Cheshire's grin.

_This will prove to be one interesting year. _

- - -

Sirius was still laughing as he met up with the three others for lunch, tears in the corner of his eyes. "Bloody hell! D'you- d'you remember, Remus? I swear Avery was about to wet himself!" He slapped his knee.

"Who was about to wet themselves?" James walked around the corner to see one of his best mates practically on the ground and the other two patiently waiting for him to finish. "Um, did I miss something here?" He questioned Peter and Remus, knowing full well that he wasn't going to get a coherent answer from Sirius.

"Gods, James! I bet you regret not taking Muggle Studies with us now!" Sirius cried out. "I would give my left foot to see it happen again! It was brilliant!"

James turned to an amused Remus, hoping to get a more detailed explanation. "So, what happened exactly? Did Wishlet flash her knickers at someone or something?"

Remus sighed. "No, but I'm sure if that did happen, Sirius wouldn't be laughing. Anyways, it was Lily."

At the sound of her name, James' expression flooded with curiosity and excitement. "Lily? What happened?"

"Nothing no other girl in the class wanted to do. She told off that blighter Avery when he wouldn't shut his mouth. We're reading muggle romantics and obviously, that didn't sit well with him." He edited excessively. Thankfully, he was saved from having to elaborate the situation when they ran into the very girl they were talking about; accompanied by two others.

"Good afternoon, ladies." Sirius was off the ground in a thrice and stood before them in a devilish pose. Even the untrusting Callie had to admit that the stance emphasized his attention-demanding form.

"Bugger off, Black. I'd like to keep whatever food I eat this meal _in_ my stomach." She gave his a false sickly-sweet smile and turned to walk into the Grand Hall. She dragged Ivee and Lily with her, both to which were holding knowing smiles. How very transparent their friend was!

"That grotty, naff prat!" Callie fumed silently as they walked away.

"Grotty?" Ivee toyed with her anger. "You can hardly say that someone like Black could be considered undesirable when even the First Years want him, now can you?" Lily chuckled as the two went back and forth with their retorts, musing that it resembled a ping-pong match.

Finally, Callie gave in, blowing Ivee a wet raspberry. "Traitor," she accused. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"I am," Ivee urged, still grinning at being the victor in their short banter. "I just wished that you wouldn't pretend to be so obtuse with your attraction to Black." She placed Lily in between them as they sat, not wishing to have the enraged Callie's anger spotlighted on her.

"Attraction? To _Black_!" Her auburn hair framed the disbelief on her face. She glanced over at the Gryffindor boys they just recently ran into to ensure they hadn't caught any of their conversation, and sure enough, they were staring at her in mild curiosity. She was forced to lower her voice. "Dear Ivee, did you run into a bloody wall this morning?" She hissed. The other Gryffindors set an inquiring brow to their direction and Lilly eased them both to relax.

"Calm down, the both of you! We'll talk about Callie and her sexual frustrations-" Callie gave her a look that clearly said she thought Lily completely insane, "-later. First, let's eat. I just got back from the greenhouses, and let me tell you, having to replant adult Mandrakes isn't easy, and I'm starving!"

The three recalled the struggle they had back in the Second Year with the baby Mandrakes, and they shivered as they remembered the eardrum shattering wails that omitted from their tiny mouths. Being full adults, they had the extreme tendency to fight back, using coiled vines as fists to punch the lights out of unsuspecting students.

"Hmm, hungry, Evans? Now there's the pudgy girl we all know and made fun of," A chilling voice behind her cooed in a sneering tone. Lily's back stiffened ramrod, and erased the emotion off her face. "Welcome back, Mudblood. Tell me, did they kick you out of _Merlin's _for your dirtiness, or did you run away, again?"

Lily stood, stepping closer to Narcissa Black until they were a breadth of a hair away. "Miss me much, Black?" She spat the name, not knowing how someone as flamboyant as Sirius could be even remotely related to her. "Tell me, did you decide to roll around in dragon dung this morning, or has your precious Lucius realized that your talents in the bedroom have dwindled and decided to put you to better use as his personal punching bag?" She gave a smile that dripped in sarcastic kindness as she referred to her make-upped face. And while it wasn't covered excessively with charcoal and rouge like most girls, the Gryffindor knew that aiming for her opponent's vanity would cause the rouse she wanted.

As she hoped, Narcissa's hands curled, as well as her upper lip. "Watch your tongue, Mudblood. You're in the presence of noble purity." At this, she focused a sneered towards her traitor cousin, who stood nearby but made no reaction to her insult.

Lily scoffed. "I could care less about your blood, Slytherin, for it will not save you from meeting the tip of my wand if you continue to disturb us with your 'presence of noble purity'. Now leave, before I deduct points for your uncivilized manners when conversing with your Head Girl. "

Ever more infuriated, Narcissa hissed, "You'd best sleep with one eye open, vermin. You never know what could happen in the dark."

"Why, you stupid bit-" Ivee took a step forward, but was hushed by Callie, who recognized the fire in her friend's eyes. She did not need help, not anymore.

The entire Hall was watching now, deadly silent and almost frightened to see what would happen between the enraged girls. While many of the red blooded males hoped for a fantasy fulfilling catfight, the dark animosity could practically be tasted from the two Houses, as the inhabitants of them stood in defense, ready to jump to help their comrade if the problems arose.

A few young First Years gulped, sure that duals such as this were conducted everyday. They had already seen a few magic fights in the first few hours of the day, and they knew that if wands were to be drawn out in this one, the sight would be quite bloody.

The professors at the head table eyed the pair wearily, unsure if they should intervene. Slughorn looked especially nervous, not wanting to have to scold a student from his own House, but also dreaded having to reprimand one of the best Potions students he ever taught. He glanced at the Headmaster, who was ignorantly chatting with a concerned Professor McGonagall, telling her that he hoped they would have more of those delectable potatoes at this meal.

Lily's own lip lifted in a snarl, one that Sirius would have been proud of. "Is that a threat, Black?" Her voice was lowered, but it was anything but calm. Fury was obvious in her tone and it set chills to run down the spines of those nearby.

The left side of Narcissa's seductive, red mouth lifted, and she countered, "I don't waste my breath with threats, Mudblood, only promises." And with the swish of her gorgeous flaxen hair, she retreated back to the safety of her House table, where they were applauding her for showing the unworthy her place.

When a warm hand rested on Lily's shoulder, she turned so quickly she feared having gotten whiplash. Thankfully, she met the Remus' comforting blue irises, and her strained shoulders eased. "Come sit, Lily. It must be hard work, having to put up with two Slytherins in one day," he joked pleasantly. He urged her into the seat right beside him and across her friends and began to fill her plate.

"That was inspiring, Lils!" Sirius patted her on the back just as Lily popped a carrot into her mouth. Callie glared at his thoughtless action as her best mate proceeded to cough noisily.

"You bloody idiot, are you trying to kill her?" She accused as Remus stroked the Head Girl's back comfortingly and pressed a glass of pumpkin juice in her hand. Ivee had to surpress the knowing grin that sprung to her lips as James forked his chicken with unnecessary force, his eyes following Remus' pale hand running up and down Lily's back.

What did the poor chicken do to you? She wanted to ask but she held her tongue. Ivee nudged Callie beside her and indicated to the hilarious sight of James' green-eyed monster coming out.

"Merlin, you were right!" They spoke in hushed tones.

Ivee looked at her in mock hurt. "Of course, I was right!" They laughed together and turned their gaze back to their Heads. Lily's face was almost the exact shade of her hair and Remus was smiling awkwardly.

"This is going to be one hell of a year," They lifted their goblets and toasted.

* * *

Here are the meanings for the insults Callie uses (please note that I'm not completely certain with the definitions, as my only reference would be one of my friends) :

**Grotty** - to be undesirable

**Naff** - tacky, tasteless

Hey everyone, sorry to have kept you all waiting for so long! It was really hard trying to finish this chapter as I kept losing inspiration for it. Anyways, I really hope you all enjoy it! Please review!

All the best,  
**A.L.**


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Why Should I?**

Summary: After a completely embarrassing night, Lily flees from Hogwarts and the hurtful jeers from her classmates. Four years later, she's back and she's hunting for the man who stepped all over her torn heart: James Potter.

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter _or any of its relating characters.

**Note**: If you've forgotten (which you probably have thanks to my lack of updating skills), the Marauders' conversation is based on the scene with James and Remus during the end of chapter seven.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

Remus loosened the obnoxious tie from around his neck, draping his dark robe on the arm of the loveseat situated in the Heads' lounge. "Finally! I never thought this day would end!"

From across him, legs daintily crossed, Lily offered him a laugh that sounded like bells. "Come now, Remus! Today wasn't _that_ bad!" She propped her feet on the crimson trimmed ottoman, and leaned back against the armchair. "Actually, give or take a few disastrous – and preferably never repeated – confrontations, I would have to say it was quite…homey."

"Homey?" It was Remus' turn to laugh. He settled into the chair adjacent to hers, sighing contently as the soft packaging cushioned his weary body.

"Yes, homey. As much as I loved it at _Merlin's_, nothing could ever compare to your first home. The fires weren't as toasty," She gestured to the dancing fireplace before them now. "The rooms weren't as inviting," She snuggled against the fully-padded arm, leaning towards him. "And the company wasn't as pleasant."

Lily watched with growing amusement at Remus' inability to suppress the blooming redness in his cheeks. "Oh, Remus, what ever will I do with you?" She pinched his left cheek condescendingly, and headed towards the kitchenette. The Heads' dormitories were built and furnished to satisfy every desire of its inhabitants – even those of the culinary form. "How about a cup of tea before bed?"

Regaining his voice, Remus stood from his place and walked over to her. "I'd much rather prefer hot chocolate, if you don't mind. I've never really been that fond of tea."

"Hmm, really? You seem to be the 'tea and scones' type to me. Ah well, I've never really had a taste for tea either, to be honest, but it helps sooths me after stressful days." The kitchenette was a simple nook with an L-shaped counter, equipped with filled cabinets and a muggle refrigerator. There was a small sink, and a drying rack; and though it had no stove, there was a designated section where items could be guaranteed to heat up without burning their half of the school down.

She started opening random cupboards, searching high and low for cocoa makings. Having spotted a canister of powered chocolate, Lily reached up only to find it just a hand-width from her reach. She attempted to hoist herself up onto the counter, but found that that, too, was a frustrating feat.

Remus leaned against the counter, arms crossed and a vibrate grin on his face. He eyed the way Lily bit into her bottom lip as she jumped up and down, trying to grab the offending canister, and chuckled when she glared at it as if it were purposely avoiding her. She caught the happy sound that left his lips and turned her glower to him, now, arms akimbo and eyebrows drawn into a deep V.

"The least you could do is get it for me, you know! Here I am, trying to make you a nice drink out of the goodness of my pure, loving heart, and you're laughing at me!" Her apple-green eyes tightened at his making a show of putting his hands up in surrender and moving around her to stretch up into the cupboard.

"Okay, okay, peace! No need to bite my head off, Lils," he said affectionately as he mussed her neat, ginger hair. Remus managed to just jump out of the way before Lily could take a swipe at him.

"Insignificant git! You're lucky I like you!" Lily snarled, but the playful glint in her eyes took away all the bite of the remark.

Remus pretended to rub the spot under his right eye, contemptuously pouting and cooing. "Poor Lilykins, did big ol' Wemus hurt you?" Carefully avoiding another well-deserved smack, he ran towards the stairway leading up to his private room. "I'm going to wash up before we have our little snack, be back soon!" He rushed up the steps, guffawing loudly and blowing her theatrical kiss goodbye.

"That's right! You better run, Remus John Lupin!" was the last he heard of her before he shut his heavy door with an echoing clunk.

Lily allowed her face to relax the moment he was out of sight, all but her peeking smile still on her face. When she caught her reflection on one of the metallic planes of a nearby pan, she gave a horrified gasp and sought to erase the embarrassing blush that's stained her cheeks. Her heart beat frantically during her struggle, and after a few minutes, she finally calmed down enough to bring her face back to its normal coloring.

With that, she then focused all of her attention to making the promised drinks. After hunting down the kettle, she filled it halfway with milk she found in the refrigerator and a few hearty spoonfuls of the cocoa powder she literally had to fight to get; Lily placed it on a secured heating area.

With two swift taps on the lip with her wand, a spell was set to get the wet contents to boil.

Lily was just walking over to the sink to rinse her hands when she heard audible thuds come from Remus' room. Straining her ears, she even heard a few harsh curses and she giggled fondly at her fellow Head.

"I'm okay!" Remus answered to her mental question. There were mumbled scuffing noises that came next, giving evidence that the poor boy was trying to set his room back to its original (probably very organized) state.

Almost sadly, she whispered, "Oh, Remus, what ever will I do with you?"

* * *

Remus leaned against the door of his room and covered his face with his large hands. He didn't know what had come over him! He was acting like one of the damned admirers that followed Lily around day in and day out. As much as he was a red-blooded teenaged – almost adult – male, he wasn't the type to flirt so openly with another girl.

"I'm just stressed, that's all." He tried to console himself for his un-Remus-like behavior. "Yeah, just stressed."

Before he entered the safety of his own common rooms, he was facing his own personal Spanish Inquisition, thanks to James. They had all gathered in the secluded Gryffindor common room, thankful to the late hour. The other students were already in their rooms, tired from the first day. His determined friend had told the others of the foolish "goofy look" that he had witnessed on the Head Boy's face that unfortunate time in Potions this morning, and was paraded with a number of reactions.

_Flashback_

"Our little Moony is growing up!" Peter dug out a worn blue handkerchief from his pocket and proceeded to blow his nose noisily in a teasing manner.

"Good on you, Moony! Thank goodness, too! I was beginning to think you were _leaning towards the other side of the fence_, if you know what I mean," Sirius said after an impish wink and solid thump on the back. He received a cold glare in return.

"So… who's the lucky girl?" The culprit to this discomfiting discussion asked again with a smirk. James knew that with the help of their two other mates, Remus' secret wouldn't last for much longer.

Resisting the urge to rub the bridge of his nose, as he was known to do when he was tense, Remus replied, "I'm telling you, there is no girl!"

Sirius' dark eyes widened and he slapped a quivering hand over his heart. "Don't tell me that it's a _chap_ you're after, Remus! My poor boy, I'll run up and grab a few of Diggory's _PlayWitch_ magazines! That'll get you back on track!" He was just about to race up the deserted stairway, but thankfully, James took a hold of his collar and dragged him back down to his seat.

"Padfoot, this is serious!" Sirius' mouth opened to give his customary "Yes, I am Sirius!" response to the exclamation, but closed again when he saw the hard look on his mates' faces.

"Party-poopers,"

"Honestly, now, Remus. Who-do-you-fancy?" James' eyes were wild with curiosity and determination. He was eager as well; eager to help the friend who hadn't shown the least bit of interest in any girl – at Hogwarts or otherwise – and knew that these feelings must be the real thing.

"Look, mates, I really appreciate what you're doing for me here, but it's not a big deal." He motioned to leave and was pulled down much like how Sirius was.

"Not a big deal? Come now, Moony, you're a great guy! _Any _girl would be dying to get their hands on you!" Sirius boasted.

They were in for a long night with the direction their conversation was going. Remus kept on lying through his teeth, feeling guilt drop like stones to the bottom of his stomach every time he did so. He ended up using the Stephanie Timmons route, telling them that it was just a small crush and absolutely nothing to be fussing over.

With that finally resolved, he departed for his own dormitory resignedly, ignoring the proposals of getting rid of Mark Keiths being hollered by Sirius, Stephanie's current boyfriend.

Before he left, however, he asked, "James, d'you mind if I borrow the invisibility cloak for a little bit longer?" He had borrowed it the first night back, using the excuse that it would help him catch any troublemakers he encountered during his nightly patrols.

When James gave a positive answer, Remus walked away from a thankful "g'night!"

_End flashback_

"Well, that's one hole I've gotten myself out of momentarily," Remus muttered to himself as he pulled the Hogwarts jumper over his head and began to unbutton the crisp white collared shirt beneath it. He was deep in thought, wondering how long his foolish charade would last, all the while wondering how the very girl of his dreams would react if he told her of his shy feelings.

He was so absentminded that as he walked towards his dresser, his hip bumped straight into the straight-back chair he kept by his desk. He fumbled with his footing and ended up toppling over the large hamper that he used to hold his dirtied clothing. Thankfully, there were very little clothing in it, seeing as the school year was still very early.

"Oh, bugger," He swore as he tried to lift himself up. Unfortunately, the legs of the fallen chair were restraining his own, and he moaned. "Damnit, is everyone and everything out to get me today?" Then he heard the unreserved laughter. "I'm okay!"

He rose from his spread-eagle position, and moved quickly to tidy up his room. Being more aware this time around, he stripped off the rest of his school uniform and slipped on a pair of navy flannel pajama bottoms and a worn gray wife beater without any more bruises. He splashed handfuls of chilled water on face before he proceeded to the door.

"Time to face the music," He sighed. He flew down the carpeted stairway, eyes immediate searching for a head of familiar red hair. It took a while to find her, with her unique features blending in softly with the Gryffindor-based color scheme of their lounge. She was curled up in the armchair he was previously sitting in, legs folded underneath her, cradling a thick book up to her face.

"Would you jump into my grave that quickly?" Lily clearly didn't hear his descent from his room as she gave a startled cry and jumped up from her seat, dropping her heavyset book in the process.

She shot him her menacing green glare. "Bloody hell, Remus, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

Apologizing, he chivalrously bent to pick up her book. "Have you started on the homework Wishlet gave us?"

"We just have to read the first two chapters, right?" Remus simply nodded, making a mental note to skim the pages before bed. "Oh, then yes. I had some free time in my last class before lunch, so I took the liberty of reading it then."

"Ah, I see," An awkward silence filled the space between them. Lily fiddled with the corner of a page in her book while Remus played with the drawstring on his pants. "So what's happening with our drinks?" He saw two large white mugs already set out on the counter in the kitchenette, and a calm kettle not to far away from it. "I could just heat it up straightaway with my wand, if you'd like."

"You could, but the hot chocolate wouldn't taste as… as…" She struggled to find an appropriate word.

"Homey?"

Lily giggled playfully. "Now you've got it." She set down the book on the strong table before them and turned towards him. "So, how are you Remus? We didn't really get to chat earlier, and your last letter was hardly any better."

"Well, I spent most of the summer with James and Sirius. Peter was off vacationing somewhere with his mother, so I didn't see him as often." Lily gave a tight smile as his response, immediately uneasy at the mention of the twin terrors – Potter, in particular.

"Ah, I see," She mimicked.

Remus was quick to turn the conversation around. "How about you, Lils? How was your summer?" He tried hard not to think of her current living conditions, finding that he couldn't picture himself living with a professor like McGonagall for two months straight. "And since when did you start riding a motorbike?" _He_ nearly had a heart attack when she came busting in the Dinner Hall that unforgettable night, riding that metal monster. Even with the helmet and leather bodysuit – which he had to admit was_ the_ greatest turn on – he knew that it wasn't exactly the safest form of transportation there was.

"Well, to answer your first question, my summer was great! Minnie and I –" Oh, lovely, she had a nickname for their professor, "– went travelling all around Ireland. Did you know that there was a small coven of vampire living just around Belfast? Oh, and did you know…" She went on to list a few of the more exciting experiences she and "Minnie" had on their small trip.

"And now to answer your second question, I've had that motorbike since just last year. An old friend of Minnie's was thinking of throwing it away, said that the levitating spell was wearing off, but thankfully I managed to get him to sell it to me before he made due with it. It took a lot of begging on my part; Minnie was horrified at the condition it was in – said it wasn't very sturdy-looking. After a while, I managed to wear her down. We spent that summer trying to find the right parts to put it together again, and even found a mechanic to recast the levitating spell on it. I don't fly on it very much though; I'm not very partial to zooming through the air like those insane Quidditch players."

Remus' fear for her on the metal monster (as he now deemed it) grew ten fold at the mention of her _flying_ on the thing. "Where is that thing, anyways?"

Lily smirked. "That's for me to know, and for you _never to find out_. I know you too well, Remus, and if you even _think_ about debauching my baby, I'll castrate you with a dull spoon."

The boy raised an eyebrow and suddenly felt very…flirty. "Never find out, eh? So, nothing I could do would very get you to tell me where you've placed it?" He inched slowly towards her, like a cat eyeing its prey. "Nothing at all?" He was amused to see Lily leap from her chair, moving backwards with every step he took forwards. She held one of the cushions in her nervous hands as a makeshift weapon. He saw her gulp visibly.

"Remus… Remus, I don't like that look in your eyes. Remus!" She squealed and ran fast on her heel as he bounded forward. They both ended up crashing onto the couch, Remus bracing his weight on his erect arms as he towered over her. Balancing back on his heel, he assaulted her sides with wriggling fingers.

"Stop, Remus, stop!" Lily laughed and squirmed uncontrollably as he made no move to stop tickling her. "You-vile-flobberworm! Ha-ha, stop!" Remus' own ringing laughter joined her own, now.

"Vile flobberworm, am I?" Remus made feather-light caresses on her skin, which proved to be evermore ticklish. Unfortunately, the fun ended as they both shifted off the couch, and Lily's head took a good whack on the carpeted floor. "Lily? Oh Merlin, Lily, are you okay?"

"Ow…" Lily rubbed the side of her head. "Brilliant, Remus, you've managed to give me a heart attack _and_ a concussion on my first day back! You know, some candles or some biscuits would've worked just as well as a welcoming pres…ent."

She found her mouth drying up as she caught the intense look in his deep blue eyes. Her heart threatened to tattoo onto her chest as he swept away a rogue strand of her with a gentle hand. Her breath caught at her throat as that hand slid up and down her jaw line, making her insides quiver deliciously, and finally rest to cradle her soft cheek. She took deep, harbored breaths, trying frantically to calm her drumming heart. Unable to bear it any longer, she closed her apple-green eyes and allowed her body to surrender to the unfamiliar, but shiver-provoking sensation.

Remus was transfixed. Never before had he witnessed beauty such as this; a goddess sprawled underneath him, the firelight staining her perfect auburn locks, her perfect porcelain face…he almost growled with envy at the way the light played on the pale skin of her eyelids, the way it stroked the dip of her elegant cheekbones.

With warning, he started to lean in closer, determined eyes locked on her cupid bow of a mouth. The dazzling woman beneath him raised her chin in anticipation, done unconsciously or from impatience, he couldn't be sure, but he did know that he himself was eager to kiss her. Her tongue darted out to moisten her suddenly-dry lips, and Remus knew that he could wait no longer.

Suddenly the spell was broken; shattered by a high-pitched whistle and both found themselves involuntarily glaring at the blasted kettle, which rattled and shrieked for attention. At that instance, the realization of what almost happened came to both Lily and Remus, and they scrambled to right themselves from their uncomfortable position.

"I-um, I had better see to that," Lily said in a flurry, rushing to the kitchenette. She hurried to busy herself with the task, but knew that only her hands were distracted. Her disoriented mind was racing with thoughts and questions, all of which were left unanswered due to the abrupt interruption.

Casting a glance at one of the pots, she eyed Remus' reflection thoughtfully. He raked his mussed hair with a shaking hand (much too much like that sodding Potter, she noticed), and looked to be muttering angrily to himself. He began to pick up the cushions that littered the floor, still berating himself.

She soon found her menial task finished and brought a cocoa-brimming cup to him. "Here you go," She said awkwardly. She was careful to avoid any contact with his hand.

"Thanks," Remus took the proffered drink, and sipped heartily from it. "It's good."

Nodding, Lily acknowledged his discomfited comment. "Thanks." The air between them was almost unbearable now, the tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. "Well, I'd best get to bed. I'll take this upstairs." The red-headed girl flew up the steps towards her private dorm, mindful of the full cup she grasped. "G'night!" Her door slammed shut before he could get a word in.

"'Night…" Remus said too late. Sighing heavily, he lugged himself down to the armchair once more, resting his forearms on his thighs. He buried his face in his free hand, feeling a flurry of emotions: frustration, longing, anger, disappointment…longing. A slow recognition dawned on him as he pitifully sat there.

He was in love with Lily Evans.

The realization was so startling that the pristine mug that shook in his hand fell to the floor in resounding shatter.

* * *

Oh wow, longest chapter so far! I really hope you enjoyed this one – it took me a while to get it just as I wanted it. I bet a lot of you are hating me at the moment, after having written this "non-Lily-and-James-romance-scene", but I promise you this is just the beginning. Anyways, please review and thanks again to all those supporting this story.

**-A.L.**


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